[faith_wings]

My youngest is just under 10 months and AF came back a couple of months ago. We don't feel ready to have another child right now and dh isn't sure he wants any more at all. He finds little kids very stressful even though he loves them to bits. So far I think he is doing an awesome job of being a pastor, husband and father to three little girls. I'm hoping that with time his feelings about his ability to handle small kids will change. Anyhow, we are using condoms at this point and I am not exactly protesting it because I have been working on healing my terrible back for 6 years now and I want to try to get a lot better before having another child. The way my back is makes the simplest tasks really hard and it makes it difficult to care for small children. Anyhow, at the I know dh really wants to have a boy. His family name will end with him if he doesn't have a son. So I want to know the very best conditions under which to conceive a son, so that when/if the time comes I can do my best to help dh get the son he longs for. We have been asking God for a son for years too. I believe he will provide, if it is his will, of course. I think dh would be happy to have a 4th child if it was a boy. I don't quite feel "done" or particularly eager to have more....although, I don't know if what we *feel* about the matter is either here nor there...because God knows best how to bless us. I do care a bit less about the sex of any future babies than dh does though.

edited to say the tmi stuff got cut out, so just ignore the subject line...sorry for the tease, lol

This post has been edited by faith_wings: 06 August 2008 - 08:24 AM

[Sombra]

Jodie, you're a young woman, there is plenty of time to wait for the 4th and God willing male child. There's 8 years between Rourke and Janney... for exactly the reason you and Richard are not jumping into another baby - Stuart just couldn't handle more at the time... and he felt I couldn't either. I'm the one with the strong desire for more children, Stuart would have been perfectly happy with just the 3.. then just the 4.. then just the 5 and now just the 6.

So, don't be concerned about waiting a few years for the 4th, and when those little ladies are a little older, they'll be your helpers. Having a 4th little child will be so much easier once Anastasia and Eloise are helping to keep the house running. My older boys are such a help with my 3 little ones, and Janney at 4 is already helping with Elias too.

I don't have a clue how I ended up with the 5 sons I have though, and I have no idea what I did differently to get my daughter. So that doesn't answer the crux of your question.

[NaturalMama]

Hi Jodie,

I know exactly how you feel. THis is is how Daniel felt when Spencer was born (until more recently, he's only now thinking perhaps soon he could handle the stress of another child). He is a good father, but has always had issues with feeling stressed easily. Our kids are awesome, they have their moments and emotion rides at times, but they are so good. THey don't hurt eachother, they really want to please us, they love their Daddy and love it when their is order and routine in the home, they are so filled with love. They aren't all ove rthe walls, but they are active and play lots. But Dh feels it is stressful, although he absolutely loves his kids and does want more. But when Spencer was a baby for quite awhile he would say, I know we'll have more (based on feelings through prayer) but I'm happy with just 3, 3's enough. I have scoliosis, it was excucating as a teen gong through puberty, at 16 my father took me to a chiropractor and it really helped but wasn't corrected until I was in my very early 20's, it was really severe. I have been seeing a chiropractor since I was 16 with a little break twice due to $$$, but am seeing one again and it is such a blessing! Once it is corrected, I'll only need to go in once or twice a month for maintenance. Anyway, all that to say, perhaps a chiropractor and/or massage therapist could help your back.

To increase your chances of a boy, there are books out there about how to do that. I think it might be called the Shettles method, but I'm not compeltely sure. I'm sure that you'll get a good amount to choose from if you search for it on Amamzon or Chapters.ca . THe basic idea though is to chart and keep track of ovulation, then make love/BD the day of ovulation and the day before and after. Try to avoid sex at the beginning of your cycle until ovulation to increase your chances of a boy. ALso to increase your chances of a boy, the quality of your dh's sperm can be important, so it'd be a good idea for him to take some form of vitamins (FertilAid for Men can be bought at eraly-pregnancy-tests.com and the price is reasonable).

HTH!

This post has been edited by NaturalMama: 06 August 2008 - 11:17 AM

[faith_wings]

Sombra, on Aug 6 2008, 10:11 AM, said:

Jodie, you're a young woman, there is plenty of time to wait for the 4th and God willing male child. There's 8 years between Rourke and Janney... for exactly the reason you and Richard are not jumping into another baby - Stuart just couldn't handle more at the time... and he felt I couldn't either. I'm the one with the strong desire for more children, Stuart would have been perfectly happy with just the 3.. then just the 4.. then just the 5 and now just the 6.

It's nice to know others understand and their dh's have felt the same as mine. I know, I am only 31 now, so I do have some years left to have more babies. I feel at peace about spacing out the next two a bit. I think at this point Richard is content with having 3...except for that desire for a son. I think my first focus now needs to be getting better. I've had some rough years with my health and it has been hard on dh too. I'm now thinking of going through with having a scope done to check for abdominal adhesions from my c/s. I think that is a major factor and having them removed might make a world of difference....so, yeah, can't be pg for that! I do want to be prepared though with the knowledge of how to best conceive a son, because working toward that is part of my healing journey (because I've also heard that being in optimal health is best for having a son, whereas if you are not as healthy, you're more likely to have a girl...but of course, that is not a hard and fast rule at all).

pardon my ramble!

[faith_wings]

NaturalMama, on Aug 6 2008, 11:16 AM, said:

Anyway, all that to say, perhaps a chiropractor and/or massage therapist could help your back.

To increase your chances of a boy, there are books out there about how to do that. I think it might be called the Shettles method, but I'm not compeltely sure. I'm sure that you'll get a good amount to choose from if you search for it on Amamzon or Chapters.ca . THe basic idea though is to chart and keep track of ovulation, then make love/BD the day of ovulation and the day before and after. Try to avoid sex at the beginning of your cycle until ovulation to increase your chances of a boy. ALso to increase your chances of a boy, the quality of your dh's sperm can be important, so it'd be a good idea for him to take some form of vitamins (FertilAid for Men can be bought at eraly-pregnancy-tests.com and the price is reasonable).

HTH!

Thanks Joyeuse,

I have seen many chiropractors...I recently spent around $3000.00 on extracorporeal shockwave treatments, laser therapy and orthotics :o It kinda helped a bit... I keep coming back to it being dt the c/s I had 6 yrs ago...so scarring...adhesions...nerve stuff. So, I plug on, trying to work it all out. Heather Doak has been a huge help and blessing...so I thank God for her.

I will look into some books...thanks for the advice!

now off to take Ana to swimming lessons....

[LisaS]

The theory is boy sperm are stronger swimmers but don't live as long as the girl spermies. So the closer to ovulation you conceive the better chance of having a boy. The further from ovulation, the better chance of a girl because they made it to the egg after the boy swimmers had died off. Both my girls were 5 days before I ovulated, my boys, not sure...can't say that is WHY, but there it is...and yes, it's called the shettles method...i'm sure there are other methods or rather theories as well

[Cuddlebaby]

boy sperm swim faster; girl sperm live longer. Keep this in mind So sex on ovulation yields a boy (abstaining for a few days before so no girl sperm get to egg first). and sex a few days before ovulation while abstaining ON ovulation will yield a girl. generally ;)

[Mamatoabunch8+]

We tried the shettles method after 4 girls, I was the one w/ a strong desire for a boy. We were blessed w/ a boy, then tried again w/ the method, got another boy. Didn't pay attention as much w/ the next, had a girl. I really desired a girl that time. Not sure what we did or did not do in regards to shettles w/ the next, but we had a boy. W/ our last we timed conception very close to O day and had a girl. Our raitio of girls to boys is 2 to 1, LOL. I should add each time I had a specific desire for one sex or the other that is what we had. W/ Taegan and Eiley I had no specific desire.