[luvrbbs]

Well the biblical answer is submit but my heart is having some trouble with it. Your input and advice is greatly appreciated.

My husband continues to request that I go to a doctor. I really do not want to... but if I have to compromise I would rather have a limitedly assisted pregnancy and an unassisted childbirth.

I can not sleep well the past few nights as I toss and turn and think about his role as the leader of our family and my command from God to submit and to respect him. I am in a much different place with my learning and understanding of medicine and the creation of our bodies to be capable to do far more than we give credit for. (than my husband he is still in the very american thinking of go to doc for every little thing)

Complete honesty time... his concerns are partly legit. In the past 2 pregnancies I had gestational diabetes that was not responsive to diet. About 3 years after my last birth I was diagnosed as type II diabetic-- I have always believed that the dx was irrational and that there was something going on in my body that I did not understand and that the medical community was not willing to investigate... they had a dx and wanted to start treatment. Just over 18 months ago I learned about ADHD and realized my son got it very honestly from me. I learned about certain foods and realized how I had always used bad foods to get my brain a high that allowed me to function better--- or so I thought.

I have since learned other ways to keep that brain functional and I lost 55 lbs when I made the eatting connection. Since then my blood sugar has not been high. My A1c went from 8.3 (bad- considered diabetic) to 5.5 (normal non-diabetic). I still have a glucometer (blood sugar machine) I randomly check my level and even this am my fasting was 115... not high but some newer guidelines would call that worrisome. But I feel like I know my body. That is where I function and for the record with my second child in pregnancy I knew I was having problems with high blood sugar before they even thought about checking it and I contacted the doctor and said HELP.... I felt awful and wanted them to help me feel better.

Was the diabetes the cause of my big babies or was I designed to have big ones? 8.5 and 21 inches and 10.4 and 23.5 inches (2 pushes to get that one out :) )

Another note about this pregnancy. I am occassionally having light bleeding it will last for about an hour and then suddenly be gone again. That is different than my 3 other pregnancies. I have never had any bleeding after the inital spotting (after 6-8 weeks) except with the miscarriage which was of course very different. So my mind is taking me to concern for placental placement... I don't really know but am wondering if there could be a low lying placenta and that be the cause of the intermittent bleeding... Never had placenta issues with my 2 live births.

So as I ramble on and on-- sorry I am really trying to process this all. I am praying for the Lord to show me what his plan is for this pregnancy. I have always struggled with control issues... between me and God and me and my husband. I like to be in control... BUT I WANT TO BE IN God's will for me, the baby and my marriage (and everything else too :) )

Your thoughts and wisdom please.

[myangelsmama]

Ask your husband to pray and to ask God to remove fear from his heart. Once he is certain that he is not acting out of fear but out of Godly direction then submit to him. I can't really speak to your "conditions" but it's sounds to me like you have things under control and that you just grow big babies (lots of women do), the bleeding sounds off though and would make me wonder about placental placement.
What matters, though, is what you feel is going on and what your husband feels is going on. UP/UC are about trusting your God given instincts and trusting Him to lead you in the right direction, whatever that is. If your husband is fearful that is not of God and he needs to look into that before you act, IMO, b/c fear does not lead to anything good. If he is telling you to go to the doctor because God is laying that on his heart then you have no reason to fear the outcome of following his wishes. ((((((((hugs))))))))) Sounds like a tough spot to be in but communicating with hubby about it should clear it all up

[Solace]

How open are you with your husband? Have you discussed in depth (and does he understand thoroughly) the situation with your diagnosis of type 2 diabetes? Does he understand the impact that a diabetic condition *has the potential to create* and what the changes you have made mean for your diabetes and also this pregnancy? Does he understand that you are careful to make wise choices with the foods you eat and checking your blood sugar?

If your sugars were wonky with previous pregnancies I would say... it could be that being diabetic contributed to their size. The only way to tell is time... some women just grow big babies. My sugars were always within normal limits but I grow very large babies ... and when I exercised and ate better I grew a "smaller" baby...but still large by medical standards, lol. My opinion is that our earthly bodies bear the marks of our fleshly state. Sometimes that can include things like diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. that complicate things. We can make positive choices (eating better, taking supplements, exercising, etc) that can HELP... but sometimes medical treatment is wisdom ...and sometimes our husbands can help us see that. Sometimes they are just fearful about loosing us because they love us so much ...and that is where it is so vital to make sure that our beliefs are lining up with reality...not the status quo, fear, someone else's opinion, etc.

The submission is a separate issue, but if you have made such dramatic changes in diet and lifestyle, have lost the weight and your sugars are within normal limits I would make sure your husband has a clear picture of the difference if he doesn't already. The problem with medical treatment, depending on the physician, is that despite your changes they may still see you as high risk...a problem waiting to happen, etc. That sort of attitude almost creates stress and tension, (DRAMA) during what could be an otherwise normal pregnancy.


Keep us posted mama!

[luvrbbs]

Update-
Thank you all for the prayers and sharing your thoughts. You have helped stimulate me to think about more than I had been (in a good way :) )
Hubby and I have talked a lot. I decided to follow his direction and made an appt today. We go next Monday. I feel relieved in one sense as I am still a little concerned that there may be a low placenta due to the unusual random bleeding I am experiencing. But in another way I feel violated.

I just do not trust the system and medicine. I am a nurse I know medicine has it's good points but the part that bothers me is the being generalized and the constant assumptions that I am just like every other G4 P2 momma out there....

My plan is this:

• Go to the appointment after praying and spending time with God so that my BP is not thru the roof (as I anticipate I will be nervous). Pray for wisdom and strength so that I do not come across as a mean and hateful woman as a reflection of the discomfort I think I will feel being there.
• Empower myself to say NO anytime I want to--- it is my right!
• Make it thru the ultrasound to feel reassured that the placenta is not endanger and to help my husband feel reassured that the baby (he thinks there are 2) is one or two what ever God has planned and that they or it is safe and thriving.
• IF I still feel convicted that UC is God's perfect plan for me- don't go back or do go back as long as I am comfortable and still plan for UC
• Continue praying that God will bring hubby and I into unity with our thinking, comfort levels and desires for this birth.

I trust that God will be with me where ever I am.... I just need to keep my focus on him and not on the previous experiences.

Thank you all again for reading and praying and supporting me. I hope I can continue to hang out in the UP parts.... does is count if I had 1/3 UP ??? LOL :)

[Sombra]

UP is not about NO CARE.. it's about making your own choices on WHAT care you get, for what ever reason you need. It's not a legalistic "hands Off".. it's restoring the autonomy and authority of ones own body and pregnancy to the woman who is actually pregnant!

[luvrbbs]

Sombra, on 22 March 2010 - 05:42 PM, said:

UP is not about NO CARE.. it's about making your own choices on WHAT care you get, for what ever reason you need. It's not a legalistic "hands Off".. it's restoring the autonomy and authority of ones own body and pregnancy to the woman who is actually pregnant!

So it is the way it should be... so far from what it has become. I thought the lady on the phone at the office yesterday was going to pass out from the gasp she made when I told her that the 2nd visit would not include a PAP....