[luvrbbs]

Wanted to share an update and how God is working in my life and pregnancy.

The full story in a nutshell :

I had a dream of having an UP and UC. Started researching and learning as much as I could. Husband was in no way onboard so at 13 weeks I went to local OB practice and they insisted on many interventions that I was not agreeable too. Started looking for midwife to plan HB... had trouble finding one that would overlook my previous history of gestational diabetes despite checking it and knowing it was ok at that point in time. Found one that would accept me and we liked then 2 weeks later my blood sugar began to climb. Lost our insurance coverage, spent 2 months jumping thru hoops of medicaide red tape while my blood sugars continued to climb higher and I continued UP.

Got insurance coverage approved just over 2 weeks ago. Called the practice that the HB midwife reccommended and thought would be a better fit for my desires to have the least amount of interference. They saw me the day I called. Found out that because my blood sugar was too too high I could not be followed by the midwifery side of the group. Had to see the OB.

So how God is working:

I was devestated to have to change my plans. I could not understand why God had allowed this dream in my heart if I was not going to be able to live it. Truely everyone in the office has been amazing. I met one of the 4 doctors 2 weeks ago and she immediately acknowledged my feelings. She said without me telling her anything, "I understand that you have had to change your plans, I imagine that is very hard to do". She encouraged me that the goal of each of the OB's wanted to be my partner in the birth I wish to have not my "boss".

Then last week I met with the RN in the office to go thru a history process that they do with each of their clients. It seemed that God used her to answer so many of my "why is this happening" and "it is not fair" questons. The first thing she said to me was about how we as nurses have such a hard time being "patients" and she too had read my story and acknowledged my feelings of loss over the change in my plans. She shared a lot of info about the philosphy of their practice and they are so much more in line with a natural approach with their skills available IF needed.

It is hard to put it all into words but God has provided a great group and given me an incredible peace.

I had to start insulin, I was having readings mostly in the 200's and even up to 325 the week I started the insulin. I hate to have to use it and of course no one likes to use a needle on them self 6 times a day... but I realize it is necessary at this point in time.

We had an ultrasound done last week, the OB was a bit concerned as I am measuring 4 weeks larger in fundal height. The ultrasound confirms that this baby has been cooking longer than I thought. They are planning to peak in on him again in a few weeks and see what the average of measurements suggests. And we saw his beautiful face in 4D- that is amazing!

I went back to my cycle log and found that AF started on 12-3 and then again on 12-18- but a strange one, heavy with clotting and more painful than previous. I wonder now if my husbands intuition that twins were coming was not partially right and that maybe that unusual bleeding was a loss of one. If I use the 12-3 date it matches up with what the ultrasound suggested. 9-9-10 instead of 9-24-10.

I am still sad that I will not be home to have Hayden be born but I am so thankful that God has provided me with a group where I feel safe - it means an hour drive to the office or hopsital but it is worth it to feel trust.

Thanks for listening. If you would pray with me that my numbers get under control soon my only concern is that the baby is healthy and does not grow too fast- GD tends to give physical size but not lung maturity. Still having some trouble- better with insulin but it needs to be fine tuned.

And PS I am so tired of people asking me if there is only 1 baby in there! I am considering having a shirt or badge printed up that says "yes there is only one in here"

[Sombra]

I have a friend who is also a mommy to a Hayden, and she's measuring big with baby #4.. and she's fed up of the questions too..

[luvrbbs]

Nice to know that I am not alone... and if I get the shirt I will have to get her one too LOL