The Unassisted Birth of Clemens

(as told by Papa)

I gently cupped the top of his precious little head in my hands as it slowly emerged from the body of his mother. There was another little fountain of "fruit water" as his chin popped out, then his body began to rotate for the final descent. Even before the shoulders were born, he wiggled his head in my hands, and let out his first squawk! He didn't even afford us a single moment to wonder whether or not he would breathe! Time stood still for a micro-fraction of eternity, and then his entire body slipped out and into my hands. Relief... joy... ecstasy... wonder... amazement. How does one describe the emotions that wash over you while you participate in the birth of your own child? And to think that no human eye was there to witness this miracle. Just his father, his mother, the angels in heaven, and his Creator. While the earth continued to spin, and six billion people slept, worked and played totally oblivious to the wonder that had just taken place, we welcomed Clemens Hall to our family.

Clemens' birth was not exactly planned (by us) to be "unassisted". Obviously, God had planned the event precisely as it unfolded. From the human point of view, however, we were expecting to give birth at home, with the assistance of a midwife, just as we had when Lucas, Tabea, Benjamin, and Philip were born. It wasn't until the "last minute" that plans changed.

About half way through the pregnancy, Claudia mentioned that we really should start reading some birth stories, and I heartily agreed. My favorite story was one found in Unassisted Homebirth An Act of Love, so we retrieved that book from our shelf and started reading. With each account we read, my excitement started to build, and eventually I just had to discover more. I went on the Internet, did a search for "unassisted childbirth", and came up with a wealth of information. I printed out a stack of testimonials of unassisted births, which I read to Claudia in bed night after night (and often read to myself long after my voice had lulled her to sleep!!!). When at last my stack had been exhausted, I tracked down another UC website, printed off another ream of stories, and continued reading. We discovered story after story of couples who had given birth at home, in familiar, peaceful surroundings, unmedicated, un-"managed", and un-"manipulated". The effect of this exercise - reading other couples' birth stories - was very powerful... I can not recommend it too highly to anyone who is looking forward to giving birth, whether alone or assisted. You begin to assimilate the beliefs and attitudes of people who believe that birth is beautiful ; you start to see the whole experience in a different light. Not as something you "have to go through to get a baby", but as an intense, overwhelming, life-changing experience to be embraced and lived to the fullest. And then, something revolutionary happens inside: you begin to say to yourself, "Hey, that doesn't sound so difficult. If they could do that, why can't we? If birth was designed by an All-Wise Creator to be so simple, so straightforward, so perfect, then why are we turning it into such an ordeal???".

Claudia had secured the services of a very good midwife to provide prenatal care and assist at the birth, and we were ever so thankful that she agreed to take us on. We were quite pleased with the up-beat, positive attitude of our midwife and her willingness to "sit on her hands" at the birth while papa caught the baby.

However, at 41 weeks gestation, Claudia returned from a prenatal visit rather discouraged. The midwife wanted to encourage things along, because 42 weeks was the cut-off for allowing a homebirth. She could "bend the rules" a bit, but officially, she should be counseling us to have a hospital birth beyond that point. This was enough to put a damper on the whole experience. Personally, Claudia and I were quite confident that the pregnancy was sailing along just fine, and that there was nothing at all wrong with the baby. After all, Claudia had carried our fifth child, Philip, for 42 1/2 weeks without the slightest problem.

As the days ticked by, the pressure to "do something" steadily increased. We decided against a "membrane sweep", turned down a visit to an OB, and declined the string of "recommended" tests: ultrasound, non-stress tests, etc. Unfortunately, our relationship with the midwife began to sour at this point. The protocols she was required to follow by the College of Midwives demanded that she practice in a certain fashion. By not cooperating, we were putting her in a very awkward situation. However, I was more concerned about the outcome for Claudia and our baby than the outcome for the midwife, and I was 100% convinced that being patient and waiting for the birth to unfold naturally was our safest option.

By Tuesday, September 2nd, the pressure from the midwife came to a climax, and Claudia was at the end of her rope. She didn't want to offend the midwife and risk losing her services, but the relationship was becoming severely strained. Should we give in and go along with the "necessary" tests? We needed an answer from on high! That evening, God responded... Claudia's water broke!!! Given such a clear sign of the commencement of labor, we were going no where for any tests! We would stay right at home until this baby was born! I called the midwife. She was out. Left a message with her husband that I would call back first thing in the morning. Hung up, unplugged the phone, and started preparing to HAVE A BABY!!!

All at once, the stress of the past two weeks dissipated, and we could finally RELAX. Peace settled over both of us, and the excitement started to build. We knew in our heart of hearts that this is it, baby's on the way! And, deep down inside, I began to sense a growing confidence that we would be birthing this baby by ourselves.

First thing on the agenda was to get some rest. We had no idea when labor would start "in earnest", and saw no sense in being sleep-deprived when it did! Claudia had a few contractions in the night that were strong enough to wake her up, but not strong enough to prevent her from getting back to sleep. By morning, she had begun losing more mucous. It was obvious that her cervix was dilating; the contractions were doing their job. We never timed them. Seemed pointless to us; Claudia's labors have always been "slow" and drawn out. Contractions come very sporadically, with long rest periods in between. This is a blessing, as it makes for a much more enjoyable, "manageable" labor than the "hard and fast" type. Thank God we don't attempt to give birth in a hospital. Claudia's labor wouldn't fit any "textbook" model. She'd be branded with the cursed "failure-to-progress" diagnosis, followed by IV pitocin augmentation, just to make contractions excruciatingly unbearable... which would in all likelihood cause fetal distress, and which in turn would likely result in an emergency c-section. I'm not exaggerating; it happens every day. Rather than the above scenario, we cuddled up for a good night's sleep.

Wednesday, Sept. 3rd, started off much like any other weekday, but with a tangible excitement in the air. We got the three oldest children off to school, and then went for a LONG walk with the younger two, in hopes of encouraging the labor to pick up. One important thing to note here is that our midwife had informed us weeks earlier that she had to fly out to the USA on Thursday, Sept. 4th, and would be away until late Saturday. Here we were on Wednesday, in labor, with the clock ticking away! I kept the midwife updated on the progress of the labor, via email, throughout the course of the day. Truth was, we weren't seeing much "progress" at all! And, to avoid any unwelcome surprises, I specifically requested of the midwife that she not come until things really "picked up" and we called to tell her that the birth was imminent. (In other words, "Don't call us, we'll call you.") I did some "last minute" shopping for birth supplies, "just in case" the midwife wasn't able to make it, and we were all set. Then, after a few good, strong contractions had passed, we determined that this labor would likely follow the same pattern of the last three. Labor would speed up around suppertime, and the baby would likely be born late in the evening or in the early morning. Claudia didn't want to be swamped with overwhelming contractions right at meal time, and have to face the "thick" of labor by herself while I ran about frantically trying to get our five darlings ready and off to bed. (Been there, done that... and not just once!) So this time, she made arrangements to have the children looked after, fed, and readied for bed at friends' homes.

By suppertime, we found ourselves ALONE. We love our children, but a couple of hours all to ourselves is still reason to celebrate! We decided to enjoy the peace and quiet by having a leisurely supper at the picnic table in the backyard. It felt like we were on our honeymoon again!!! Our conversation was interrupted once or twice during the course of the meal by a good, strong contraction. Still, you would hardly say that we were in the "thick" of labor. I think that by this time, Claudia had resigned herself to the fact that the baby would wait to be born until after our midwife had left the country , and we would be "forced" to have the baby on our own, because she started asking things like, "Are you really confident that we could do this all on our own?" And I, nearly jumping up and down for joy, replied something in the order of "YES, Sweetheart, we could do this all on our own!" The excitement was building!!!

Well, supper was finished, dishes cleared, and we still had an hour or two before the children were due to come home for bed, so what to do? Time for another walk! We started off, hand in hand, talking and enjoying each other's company, and actually covered ground pretty fast. Pretty fast for a lady 9 1/2 months pregnant, in labor, and just hours from giving birth! When we got to the recreation center, I suggested we stop for a treat, and Claudia obliged. Here we were, sitting and enjoying a Fruit Smoothie at Java Hut, without giving any thought to the fact that one strong contraction could produce a very embarrassing situation- especially if it was accompanied by another gush of amniotic fluid! We were totally unprepared! Fortunately, she had no contractions while we were there; only one strong one on the twenty-minute "home stretch". Then, right after we got home, another wave hit, and the waters gushed out!

By nine o'clock or so in the evening, the children were all back home and tucked in to bed and, at last, things started to pick up. Right around this time, our midwife called to say that she could still make it to the birth, if we called her no later than 2:00 am. Beyond that, she would be unable to come as she would miss her early morning flight. Did we want her to keep trying to find another back-up midwife to replace her if she had to leave before the baby arrived? I said no, if she wasn't able to make it, Claudia and I were prepared to do the birth on our own. By this time, it seemed very obvious to us that God was arranging every detail precisely so that this birth would be unassisted. Clear and simple.

We had asked a friend, Nancy, to be available to come to our house and keep an eye on the children during the birth, so I phoned to update her. This is the night! Not only that, but it looks like we'll be doing the birth alone, without the midwife. (I'd informed her of this possibility already on Tuesday, and she was entirely comfortable with the idea.) The children were all down for the night, and Claudia and I were going to try getting some sleep ourselves, but she shouldn't be surprised when her pager buzzed. Well, it didn't take "hours" at all! As soon as we had settled ourselves comfortably under the covers, it became obvious that there wouldn't be any more sleep for us this night! I paged Nancy. Claudia wanted her moral support. She arrived within 20 minutes, cheerfully greeted Claudia in the bedroom, then made herself comfortable on the couch in the living room. Nancy was wonderful! She "blended right in to the furniture", entirely unobtrusive, and came into the bedroom only a couple of times, on our request, to reassure Claudia or to answer a question that I couldn't.

From 10 o'clock onward, Claudia stayed on her side in our bed, until minutes before Clemens was born. We wouldn't particularly recommend lying down to labor, but that's where Claudia felt "right" this time. She thought that walking, standing, or kneeling would make labor progress too swiftly, and that the contractions might become unbearable. (Strangely, they became much more bearable at the very end, when she did switch to a kneeling position!) Contractions weren't coming on fast, but they were intense. I laid down beside Claudia, and applied lots of pressure to her tailbone with the heel of my hand, each time that she indicated the start of a contraction. They were LONG. (It was hard work, for me, at least!!!). Even from the living room, Nancy could tell by Claudia's vocalizations that these were effective contractions. As soon as one had passed, we both "melted" into the bed and completely relaxed. The pause was delicious, though never quite long enough to fall right asleep before the next wave washed over us.

Sometime after eleven o'clock, Claudia felt she might be nearing transition; she thought she was sensing an urge to push. As in every previous labor, Claudia was holding herself back, afraid that it might be too early, that she might start pushing before her cervix was fully dilated. We called for Nancy, who reassured us that if the urge was there, it probably was time. She left the room. Claudia still wasn't convinced. In each of our earlier homebirths, she had insisted that the midwife check on her dilation before she began to push. I thought we'd just skip that step this time around, seeing as there was no midwife present! Nope. I donned the sterile gloves and attempted an "amateur" examination. Cervix? Couldn't tell where that was, or if she even had one, but there was a lovely little head sitting right there!

Claudia decided to just "wait out" the next contraction or two, to see if the urge to push increased. Several waves washed over, then I suggested that she slip out onto the floor and try kneeling beside the bed. Perhaps it was time to push after all? She knelt, leaned over the bed with her upper body, and immediately things became a whole lot easier. So much so, it was hard to tell when a contraction came on. Claudia became much more focused, much less verbal. She knew that the baby was on its way, and told me she would like Nancy to be in the bedroom as the baby was being born, so she would have someone's face to focus on while I caught the baby from behind her. I went out to the living room to tell Nancy that Claudia would likely want her to come soon. I wasn't absent long; Claudia needed me. From then on, I kept constant pressure on her coccyx with one hand, and with the other I applied hot, damp compresses to her perineum. (We had placed a slow cooker within reach, full of facecloths immersed in hot water. Works wonders!!!)

From the time Claudia got out of bed and knelt, upright, to Clemens' birth was no more than 15 or 20 minutes, at the most. And what a beauty to behold! She began to rotate her hips around in a circular motion, as if "instinctively" working the baby ever-so-gently out of her body. She was pushing at the same time, with determination, but not at all like you see "in the movies". She wasn't fighting the experience; she was opening up like the bud of a flower about to blossom. At first, I thought birth was still a ways off, because I saw nothing bulging below the tailbone. I even thought she might be putting too much force into her pushing, and might thereby tire herself out long before the baby was ready to exit. But no, she was doing exactly what was needed at exactly the right moment. Ten minutes into the pushing, I could feel the hair on our baby's head. Did it take one more push, or two, to get that gorgeous head into open air? It seemed like there was no break at all, just one smooth, steady movement with barely a pause, until his whole body was born. Incredible! No shoulder dystocia, no cord around his neck or trunk, or draped over his shoulder. This was a picture-perfect birth! And in the heat of the excitement, we had both forgotten all about calling Nancy from the other room. She could hear all that was going on; she witnessed the birth with her ears, though not with her eyes.

It was a bit awkward at his point... I had to pass Clemens through Claudia's legs so she could get a hold of him. Then, she wanted to get up on the bed, but we hadn't put anything on the bed for protection! All of our plastic, extra blankets and soaker pads were on the floor, underneath Claudia. Hardly necessary, I thought. To this point, the birth had been so clean that we could have made do with a single bath towel! On an impulse, we called to Nancy who promptly appeared, and asked her to take the soaker pad from under Claudia as she stood up, and put it on the bed so she could sit on it. Presto, made it!

A couple minutes later, Claudia asked me, "what's that?". The placenta had already separated, and was just sitting in a "ball" at her vulva. I gave it a little tug, and out it came. Quite a lot of blood along with it, too. So much for our "clean" birth!

Claudia was radiant, happy, relieved. To hold our son at last! And he was pink, healthy, breathing. What joy! What relief! What a wonder! God is so kind and gracious to us mortals! Who else could ever have conceived of such an amazing event, BIRTH, to bring our offspring into this world?

Was Clemens born a few minutes before midnight, or after? September 3rd, or 4th? Who knows? Does it make any difference? We decided on 12:02 am, the closest estimate as to when Nancy first heard him cry. At 12:15 I called the midwife to tell her the news. She seemed a bit surprised, though she likely suspected herself that things would turn out this way. Did we still want her to come and check the baby over? I hesitated, but decided she might as well spend her last hours before flying trying to rest, rather than racing around the country. We would see her when she returned to Canada. I hung up the phone, and immediately dialed another dear and birth-wise friend to come check Claudia and Clemens over. She, too, was a tremendous help and encouragement.

Was this the ideal, perfect birth, in every respect? I suppose not. In retrospect, we could have saved ourselves much turmoil and many tears had we trusted our convictions enough to forego "professional" care during the latter part of the pregnancy. We were very glad to have the help and reassurance of special friends immediately after the birth: Claudia bled more than either of us would have been comfortable with, had we been "all" alone, and it would have been a shame to end such a beautiful, peaceful birth with a hasty, panicked trip to the hospital ER. Would we change anything? No. Even the "inconveniences" were part of the overall experience, one directed by God Himself in such a way as to leave us dumbfounded, in awe at His perfect design, yet keenly aware of our utter dependence on Him.

 

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