The Unassisted Birth of Stephen James-Paul

On March 5th around 1 am, I woke up to regular belly hugs and an upset tummy. So I got up (slowly and laboriously!) and made my way to the bathroom. I then went out to the living room and sat in my recliner chair as I didn't want to wake up Em who still sleeps in our big King size-with twin against it. I put on my tapes to listen to and lit my candles prayed and read scriptures and rode the belly hugs. I also emailed my email list to let them know what was happening so they could pray for us. They were coming every 5 or so minutes, some times more often sometimes less often. I was also going to the bathroom in between. I was thinking ALRIGHT this is it! I was ready for the baby. My list of things to do was completed. My mom wasn't due to arrive for 5 days but I wasn't worried about her not being here. I just figured it was Gods will whatever happened. Well around 4 am it all stopped. So I went back to bed.

This stop and go labor continued until the day he was born. Which was eleven days later. I was fine with that as I had similar long time starts with the other two babies. I truly believe that with each pregnancy the baby was posterior and that explains the back labor ALL THREE times. I also believe that is why my body takes so long to position the little monkeys.

Well as it happened, I knew he was still breech. I was willing to have him at home without any "professional" should he be born that way. I wasn't worried in the least. I felt prepared for him to come out butt or even feet first! I felt that the Lord would guide me and the baby in any circumstance. I trusted God for this birth to be everything I wanted it to be and it was!

Saturday the 15th, when I went to bed I cried myself to sleep. I was so very irritated and I didn't want to face everyone at church again still pregnant. I knew they would joke with me and I had lost my sense of humor. :-(

Early on the 16th I was woken up with tight bellyhugs. They were very strange. Then suddenly I felt this HUGE kick to my ribs. I KNEW the baby had turned. I was pleased by that as I knew it wouldn't be long now. I was 7 almost 8 days LATE as everyone kept reminding me. As if I had anything to do with it!!! :-) I was still perfectly happy being pregnant. I was however getting rather irritated with all of the "Are you STILL pregnant?" questions! But I know that noone meant any harm. They thought they were being funny!

On the 16th, when we all got ready and went to church I was still doing ok. It was while we were there that my back started aching terribly. I went into the cry room (that is where babies can sleep or be nursed) and laid over the ottoman of the glider rocker with my butt in the air. I thought I was in labor. I didn't tell anyone though. I didn't want people wondering and worrying and watching the clock on how long the baby took to get here.

We went straight home after church because my Mom was waiting for us. She had opted not to go with us that morning. I was kind of irritated with her too. So I didn't tell her I thought I was in labor. :-) So basically at this point I am irritated with everyone. Well if that isn't a symptom of labor I don't know what is! haha

That day we were expecting my niece and her family over for a while to visit. They live about an hour away and were bringing their 2 year old and 2 1/2 month old to see my Mom for the first time since she was here. I was dreading having company. I didn't feel up to it. And yet I didn't want to tell anyone I was in labor. How is that for stubborn? So when they got here, I was really uncomfortable. I told hubby we should go to the grocery store. We were planning on BBQing hamburgers. I wanted to get up and walk. I needed to move or something. I couldn't sit for long as my back hurt so much. When we got to the store, I told my hubby that we would be having the baby that day. He looked skeptical. I hadn't said that before and I was miserable so I think he sort of believed me. Of course I made him promise NOT to tell anyone. I didn't want anyone breathing down my neck...

I tried to act as normal as possible. I kept telling myself as soon as they leave I will be naked and in the hot tub. Hold on. :-) Then they asked if they could take my little one over to Disneyland to ride a couple of rides. Well I didn't want to say no. That would tell them I was in labor. (DUH! What was I thinking. Is this rational?) So I said yes. They left with her at 5 and said they would be back in an hour or so. So again I kept telling myself "As soon as Em is home I can have this baby. And as soon as all the kids are in bed I can have this baby." Well I went in the hot tub as soon as they left for an hour. It was WONDERFUL!!!! I got out a while later because again I didn't want them to come home with me in the hot tub. After all then they might know I am in labor. (Still being VERY rational here!) I got online at the point and let my Christian support group know that things were happening and to pray. I also emailed my real life prayer partner and best friend Diane to pray because things were happening.

It was about this time, my Mom and I got into a discussion about what ifs. She has had five very typical hospital births and so has fear as a result of them. I tried to tell that my what ifs consisted of "What if the birth is easy? What if the birth is fast? What if the birth is painless? What if the birth feels good?" I think it was helpful for us to discuss this. As I knew the birth was coming quickly and I wanted her to be reassured. Well as it happened none of this came to pass. Other than maybe the fast part. From the labor becoming intense to delivery of baby was a couple of hours.

Around 7 sometime, I went into the bedroom to listen to my tapes and try to lay down. I wanted to be in my room when they brought Em home. I could no longer hide that I was in labor. It was real and it was happening. My back was VERY painful and aching with each belly hug. They were coming very close. I never timed them though. I just rode the waves as they came and tried to stay relaxed. By 8 I was pacing the room no longer able to lay down. I was getting uptight that I could not leave my room. My niece came back with Emma after 8. I was coming out of my skin in the bedroom. I was on the verge of running naked through the house to the hot tub in the back yard. But again I didn't want anyone to know I was in labor. (At the time it made sense ok?)

They left at 8:30 (my niece had to nurse the baby before they got on the road). I literally ran for the back yard. I was ripping my clothes off as I went. Once I got in the hot tub I felt SO MUCH better. Randy was putting our kids down and he reappeared at close to nine. He lit the fire in the chimney again and lit my candle and lanterns.

By this time my belly hugs were coming often and my back pain wasn't letting up. So time passed and closer to ten o'clock my water broke with a big pop. OH IT FELT SO GOOD! I had been feeling all of this pressure in the area between my hip bones. I don't know how else to explain it. So when it popped it felt BETTER at least initially. I had Randy come and check the water with a flash light. I was worried that if there was meconium in the water it would indicate a butt first delivery. It was all clear!! What a relief. I knew baby was head first at this time but it was reassuring that everything seemed normal.

Then of course the belly hugs were much more intense and longer but there was breaks in between. My back was still hurting SO MUCH! I knew that I was getting ready to push. I have in the past had the baby about an hour or so after my water broke. So I knew I was close. I was starting to grunt a little every time I had a belly hug-back pain. I tried to relax in between. I talked to the baby alot. I prayed. I rested. I told my hubby we were close. I don't think he or my Mom believed me. :-) She was in the kitchen baking blankets most of the labor. It was busy work that kept her mind off of things!

Vivian Gets Her Belly Cast!

I lost all track of time here and couldn't tell how long things were taking. I was pushing, I know that. I was talking to the baby and telling him to come to me. I was humming along with the belly hugs-back pains. I thought the baby would be coming down any moment. This is where time stands still and every second is an eternity. When really it isn't. I was checking inside to see where baby was and I could feel what I thought was a head up and in. Which was weird. It seemed as though the baby's head was flexed back. I made a mental note of this and continued to follow my body's cues. When my body pushed I helped. When it stopped I rested, tried to relax and talk to baby. My hubby got in the tub with me at this point and would press on my back when I told him too. It was nice. It helped the pain to put counter pressure.

Then I felt a baby kind of fall onto my perineum. (Does that make any sense?) And I told my hubby to get out and turn on the camera. As the baby was going to be out in a minute. He says that he didn't even know I was pushing yet. (HUH? I guess all the humming and grunting didn't give it away!)

I pushed and felt the baby crown. OW OW OW- this burns. At least my back felt better finally. :-) His head was born and I was on my hands and knees so I told my hubby to check around his neck. But he couldn't tell yet if there was cord. At about this time I started yelling at my hubby to stop it! He said I am not doing anything. Apparently this was the baby rotating. What a neat feeling!!!! I had never felt that before as this was where BOTH of my midwifes interfered. My hubby exclaimed at this time, "He is looking at me!" How cool is that?

Then I gave this GIGANTIC push. (I didn't care if I ripped from ear to toe at this point. I wanted him out!) He body came out on this push. And then I told my hubby to knock it off again. I was sure he was trying to help the baby out. He said "That isn't me!!!" It was the baby kicking his way out!!!! He had only been born to his butt and was helping me get him out. My hubby caught him and brought him up and out of the water. He said "There is cord". He sounded kind of panicky. I said "So unwind it"! And he did and handed the baby BOY to me. I felt a little boy genitals at this point. hehe They are hard to miss at birth! He also had his cord around his armpit too. So I unwound that and put him on my chest. He pinked up in seconds. He looked at me here! It was amazing.... He even smiled at me! Too neat! My Mom says at the time he was born there were two flashes of lightening. I missed it as I was busy. But Randy saw it too. What a beautiful way to enter this world...

We sat for a few minutes and cuddled and cried. He wasn't at all interested in nursing. We noted the time that he was born was 11:02 pm. (I had said I DID NOT want a St Patty's Day baby.) My Mom started worrying at me about getting cold. I was fine. I had him under the water up to his neck so I thought he was fine too. My Mom went to get the kids. She even got Em. OOPS big mistake. NEVER wake a two year old in the middle of the night, when neither of her parents are available to hold her!!! EEK And grandma will NOT do! She cried and cried and cried! So the kids came out and saw their baby brother. Yes we had checked and it was DEFINITELY a boy!

They went in to the house to wait for us. My Mom had made up the futon in the living room for me to lay on. So I waddled in to the living room. It is hard to get out with a baby in arms after just giving birth. Definitely a technical difficulty.

I went on to birth the placenta within a few minutes and we waited another 35 or so minutes to cut the cord. We TRIED to use dental floss to clamp it. NOT A GOOD IDEA! Use shoe laces! It is NEARLY impossible to get the knot tight enough with dental floss. My husband likened it to lassoing a sausage. :-) So the stump started oozing blood. Well my Mom and Randy decided the baby was bleeding out. (PANIC!) He wasn't!!! He also pooped all over me! So we got in the tub. And I held his stump closed and we eventually put a clothes pin on it to clamp the vessels together. That worked wonderfully!

Anyhow all of my prayers were answered with this birth. He is beautiful. Anne the midwife came the next afternoon and weighed him. In his diaper he was 9 pounds 10 ounces. He was 20 3/4 inches long. His head was 143/4 inches. His chest was just about the same. He is beautiful. He sleeps a lot and nurses wonderfully. We are so pleased and happy to have him in our lives!!!

We named him Stephen James-Paul. Stephen is after My Steve, Randy's brother who was the light of our lives. He died suddenly about two years ago. We still mourn his loss and will all the days of our lives. James is after Daddy. And Paul is after Uncle Paul. Who isn't technically related to us but we couldn't love him anymore if he were! It also just so happens that Paul is the name of my favorite person in the bible. The apostle Paul was a VERY inspiring person. He faced many difficulties and still managed to love Jesus with all of his heart. So his name has MANY special meanings. He has much to live up to. :-)

Vivian

 

 

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