Mischa's Journey to UC

My ex is 38, and works for his father as a manufacturer's representative. Travis is my fiancé, 25, and a webmaster for the Logistics division at Cherry Point Marine Corps Base.

With my first baby, the very first pregnancy/birth related book I bought was called Water Birth by Janet Balaskas and Yehudi Gordon. I was very interested in a water birth, but being in Virginia at the time (1994) there was little information to be found. I went to an OB, and ended up having an induction at 36 weeks for high blood pressure. It was a long hard labor, but I was thrilled to have a baby, and the labor soon faded away. I had decided not to have any more children for a long time, though.

In early 1996, I discovered I was pregnant again. I hadn't had a period since before my first was born, as I was nursing him and didn't realize I was pregnant until I was about 3 months. I went to an OB who came highly recommended (we had moved to South Florida 2 weeks after our first was born) and because I had BP problems with the first, I was concerned the second time I may as well.

He and I did not get along. He had what I call the "God complex", meaning he was better than me, and how dare I question anything that said. He would not answer my questions, and repeatedly brushed me off. I had a terrible labor experience, but again was just glad to finally have my baby. I decided at that point, I would never have an OB again, unless absolutely necessary.

With my third, I found a Certified Nurse Midwife, who thought much more along the lines that I was looking for in a birth attendant. My first birth without stirrups! That was so exciting for me, to have more control over what was happening to me during birth, instead of feeling like a lamb being led to the slaughter. The labor with this baby was much more enjoyable, the room was completely still, there was no unnecessary noise or commotion. I tested Group B strep positive while in labor, and they had a Neonatologist in the room to check the baby as soon as she was born. They took her from me, and put her on unnecessary IV antibiotics for 72 hours while waiting for her blood work to come back. Her Group B strep test came back negative, so for 3 days she was on an IV needlessly, which greatly interfered with me being able to hold her, she was connected to a pump, etc. That is when I said "No more hospitals!" She also got thrush from the antibiotics she was on, and because I was nursing her, I ended up with it on my breasts as well, which was horribly painful and very difficult to get rid of.

I started doing research into home birth after the third baby was born. I found a group of women who had Unassisted Childbirths, and was very intrigued. The more I learned, the more I knew that was what I wanted. I was also training to become a Licensed Midwife in FL at the time, and was very excited to know there were so many women having babies as God intended, at home!

My (then) husband and I argued at length, for almost 2 years about having a baby unassisted. He was totally against the idea, and would not hear anything I said, nor would he do any research on his own. I knew it was what I wanted, and I would do it regardless. I was the one tortured and humiliated in the hospital, not him, and I would not subject myself to that indignity needlessly for any one.

(As a side note, when I had my third baby, every nurse who came on while I was there - whether my nurse or not - came to inspect my perineum because they couldn't believe that a woman had given birth to a baby with no tearing, no episiotomy, and no hemmorhoids. I could not believe that these women were coming in for the sole purpose to look at my behind!)

I became pregnant, and we continued to disagree on how and where the baby would be born. It was so bad at one point that I wished I wasn't pregnant. I hated fighting like that, and it put a tremendous amount of stress on me. I think he finally realized how firm I was in my decision, and agreed, if I would have prenatal care.

I went back to the CNM that I had with my third baby, told her I would like a homebirth, and wanted her to do my prenatal care. She flat out refused, tried to scare me with stories of what she'd seen, and then said something to the affect of "If she hadn't been at a hospital she and her baby would have died." This is what Drs need you to believe so you rely on them. They rely on you for their paycheck, then need you to come to them! I was very disappointed, as I felt she would be supportive. I started looking into Licensed Midwives, which are legal in FL, and actually received prenatal care from the Midwives I was Preceptoring with for my Midwifery Schooling.

I did have insurance, and by FL law, insurance companies are required to cover a home birth. I spent many long hours on the phone with the insurance company, appealing the denial for coverage, and fighting to have what was by law my right to a home birth.

I had my fourth at home unassisted, and it was the waterbirth I had wanted from my first pregnancy! It was absolutely wonderful. I had had an epidural with my first two births, and the water was more pain relieving than the epidural by far! Not to mention I wasn't stuck in bed. I delivered him basically by myself. My ex and our oldest had food poisoning that night, and both were up not feeling well. My ex was behind me when the baby was born, but I was the one who "caught" him. I delivered the placenta and cut the cord myself. For the first time, I didn't feel like a helpless observer in the birth of my child. I was an active participant. I was able to get up and move around as I needed, I was able to do what felt good at the time. I had no one telling me "You have to stay on your left side", "You can't do that", "You can't have anything to eat", "Nope, nothing to drink". I was free to do what I wanted, and what I needed.

I'm now with a wonderful man who is not only supportive of us having a UC, but works with several women who have questioned our decision, and he always answers their questions, and supports our decision with facts and experiences. He will not hesitate to defend our position to anyone who dares question it.

Pregnant again, I think this UC will be far better than the last, because of the amount of faith he has in me, and the support that he gives. There was no arguing about it, just "Okay, we'll have the baby at home. Just you and me". We are planning another waterbirth, as I absolutely loved it.

Lest you think I am against doctors entirely, I am not. I just feel that doctors have their place. When people are sick, or need surgery doctors are certainly important. But they do not belong at a normal birth. A baby was created between a man and a woman. Not between a man, woman, and doctor, and the baby should be born the same way.

Mischa

 

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