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Amanda H.'s Journal
Expecting August 2005
Wed Jan 05, 2005
8 Weeks! Whoo hooo
I have gotten to 8 weeks as of today. Its starting to get a little harder with pregnancy in the terms of anxiousness. I belong to message boards at talk.sheknows.com and so many of the ladies are getting their first ultrasounds now and talking about hearing the heartbeats with the dopplers. Then here I am without any doppler or u/s. I think the no-prenatal visits will make this pregnancy seem the longest. Atleast monthly doctor visits were something to look forward to. Im not giving up on having an unassisted homebirth though. IM still very much looking forward to it.
My morning sickness is lessening now. My cravings are skyrocketting. I just spent 200 dollars at walmart last night. I bought sliced canned pears and Oooooooooh i can't wait to dig into them. Just thinking about them right now-i can smell them lol.
Yes I think Im giong to go have a can of them when im done with this post.
So far I have gained 11 lbs. Im showing more though i know its mostly just bloating and intestines at this point. Last pregnancy I usually measured about 4-5 cms ahead so maybe Im ahead this time and maybe it could be truly showing? Hmmm guess I wont know.
Amanda-224 days to go!!!
Fri Dec 31, 2004
7wks 2 days
Im back full speed for having an unassisted pregnancy and unassisted homebirth. My husband has made several changes lately as I think its an answer to prayer. He has finally admitted that he needs to get the boys their own beds and another mattress for the girls. He has also agreed to lower his church giving. Tithes are untouchable but he has agreed to only give a flat 100 each week even if he gets overtime. Before he was giving 125 on a normal 40 hr week and even more when he had over time. Sometimes over 150 which we fought over.(he gives to faith promise missions on top of tithing) So 100 is agreeable by me. Im so relieved. Its really helping my confidence in having an UC.
We really need to learn our trust for each other and grow a stronger bond before this birth. My friend trisha is getting me two UC books for me to learn. The Unasssted Homebirth-An Act of Love and Emergency Childbirth. In turn im sending her Spiritual Midwifery. I hate that book. lol.. It didn't help me one little bit. I dont really like their way of thinking a whole lot.. Plus im not having a midwife so its a little different.
Today im 7 weeks 2 days pregnant. My MS is going down a little bit. I have gaiend 10 lbs but im drinking extra water today in hopes of flushign my system and losing some of this water retention.
Im a little concerned about my blood pressure this preg if my water retention stays. But I will go to walmart tonight and check it on their machines. Last time it was about 153/84 i think. which is high but im hoping the machine was just not working right. I will see what it is tonight.
Tue Dec 28, 2004
Im getting nervous already-6wks6days
Im sure that most pregnant first time uc'rs go through this once in awhile. I just wonder if I am really capable of doing a birth at home. I had a fight with hubby over nonrelated things. But then its like a demon was beside me and started casting lots of doubt in my mind over having a homebirth.
My morning sickness has really kicked in hard core today. I have been eating loads and loads of crackers. Im getting larger and larger. The joys of having 5th child i guess. I have gained over 5 lbs already. IM not sure of the exact amount yet.
I think im having a girl :)
Tue Dec 21, 2004
5 weeks 6 days
Today I won a book off ebay. Spiritual Midwifery. I have heard this name over and over in my early research into having an UC. I cannot wait to get it and tear into it and start reading.
Im having horrid heartburn today and acid reflux. I want to throw up soooooo bad. Saturday we are telling the inlaws about our pregnancy. All of my husbands sisters, brothers, sils and soon to be sil will be there so they will all find out at the same time. Im soooo nervous
Mon Dec 20, 2004
December 20th 2005
5weeks 5 days. Many many days until August 17th 2005
Today I am 5 weeks 5 days into my 5th pregnancy. I have not been very satisifed after having my last four children in the hospital. There was something missing, something just didn't feel completely "right". Just before conceiving this baby, I started looking into having a homebirth. When I contacted a midwife, i realized I just could not afford a homebirth with a midwife. I can get on medicaid because we do not have insurance BUT medicaid will not cover a homebirth at all. So I thought" Okay is God shutting down the door for a homebirth?" but in my heart I knew that He wasn't shutting the door on a homebirth. I knew so deep down in my heart that I wanted to have my next baby at home. Then I started reading into "Unassisted homebirth" I tell you what, I have never felt more at peace about being pregnant and thinking upon impending birth.
I would love to involve my children into the birth but my husband is against it. Somehow he thinks it might tramatize them. He is ALL for helping to deliver this baby with me.I have started a search for homebirthing books. I also want to get into my Bible more and I believe I will need a lot of faith and strength from God to have an UC!
My symptoms so far:
M/S in morning and night
Already getting up to pee in the middle of the night
bbs are sore, heavy and tender
Blah I have already gained 5 lbs tooo! This might be a long 9 months LOL..
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