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April's Journal
Expecting September/October 2005
Mon Sep 19, 2005
Come and Gone
Well, my anticipated due date has come and gone and here I sit on my birth ball rocking baby, loving baby, praying for baby to come. I have been laughing at how short the distance is between baby and the outside world, 3", 4" maybe and how long it takes to go such a short distance!
It wasn't until yesterday evening that I started seriously wrestling with anticipation.
Ben pulled me to him, held and kissed me and told me he would stay home today (Monday). Then last night we drew together and I poured out all that was on my heart and we sought the Lord with prayer and petition. We went to bed and I slept like a baby!
It's early now barely 5am, dad woke early to go to work the smell of coffee wafted in and stirred my senses, once they were stirred so was my stomache! Thought I would check on Rae as I ate some cereal and as I headed down the stairs I felt my uterus squeeze and as I have been sitting here checking the boards and writing e-mail updates I have ever so often felt a hug around my baby, will it continue? I thought I would see until sleep calls me back!
I really have been sleeping very well, I know that can only be an answer to prayer! I have no real aches and pains, though I have experianced my share of discomforts. I have so much to be greatful for!!! Ben has been wonderful, so encouraging, so helpful, kind and paitient. So ready with me! It is fun to wait on and want a baby together!!!
OK, my rear is sore and sleep is once again calling!
Come my baby come soon!
Love,
Momma
Sun Sep 04, 2005
2 Weeks!
Two weeks, will it really take that long, still? I hope not! I have always secretly chuckled when a momma says she hopes this baby comes early and here I am begging baby to come early!!!
This baby is longer and larger than my first, I feel this baby everywhere! I have heart burn daily/nightly now, never had it at all with the first. I have been combating swelling in my feet and lower legs, including what tried to be a rash of some sort. Had prayer over that right away and have focused on keeping my feet up and the swelling down! Had dh rub witch hazel all over feet and legs and it seemed to help as well.
Tonight dd asked me to just push out that baby rigth now, she said, don't you want to push that baby out of your tummy mommy? Yes I would love to I said, so she said ok just push right now! LOL Oh, how I wish it was that simple!
Everything has gone very well, I am at great peace with my body and baby as far as pregnancy goes. While I am becoming increasingly uncomfortable I am not "sick" of being pregnant, I am simply ready to love on my sweet baby and hold them and care for them!!!
An unexpected situation has arisen with my parents, my dad no longer has his truck as it broke down and he had to sell it because that was that as far as finances go. So it broke down on Thursday, and he is on a plane home on Monday to look for a job. We think they can still help with the house payment, we'll see. I am starting to look for apartments as I believe we will sell the house this fall. This is much much sooner than dh and I thought we would be moving especially with the new baby arriving. However, I am looking forward to having my little family back to myself and it would be wonderful to be closer to friends, dh work and church!!! (Curently we are 1hr away!) We are sad to leave our beautiful light filled house but I know God will provide our every need and I am simply looking to Him to help us through this time.
I know I should go to bed but I just keep hoping labor is gonna kick in!!!! Hee Hee
I do have a concern about having the bb after dad comes home, he wanted to stay away to give me the freedom to birth in the house as I saw fit. Also, he has, I don't want to say fears, although that is probably the truth, but I know he is nervous and concerned because he doesn't understand the whole thing and therefore feels out of control in his ability to deal with the situation. I pray this is all in God's hand and that fear will not be allowed to enter our home in any way or any one!!!! I don't know what this is gonna look like exactly, maybe mom and dad will just take a drive and bb will come while they are gone!!!
OK, I will go to bed now and just pray for babies perfect arrival time!
Tue Jun 28, 2005
Third Tri!
Wow, I am always amazed by how much time passes between my journal entries!
Well here I am in my third trimester, I really don't know where the second one went!!!
I feel pretty organized I just don't actually own anything I need for my birth yet! LOL
Oh well.
Babies room is painted, big sister is getting a new bed and "new room" too. The baby closet is organized and the baby registries are mostly complete. I have all my supplies highlighted for ordering and hope to do that in July, so I should be set by the end of August.
Baby should come the week of the 17th of September, I want to be ready and restfull.
Baby is getting so strong and the kicks and movements are starting to be very BIG!
We had the opportunity to have a 3D US about three weeks ago. It was really hard for me to go through with it. At first I was excited, then concerned about having the baby exposed to the "testing" of the equipment, the technicians opinions, etc.... I prayed for peace and asked God to use this as an opportunity to show us clearly how to pray for my birth. Well we found the placenta lying "very" low, I thought the placenta was on the edge of the cervix but the tech insisted that it was covering the cervix and I needed additional follow up with my doctor. Ugh.... no can't do that, found out that morning insurance for myself would not be possible this month after all, baby is covered under a dependant clause of our insurance but not the spouse, that is without paying $550 a month! Right!
So, DH is fully confident that this information is truely a tool for prayer and God will move my placenta and we will have an uneventful UC Homebirth! I am standing in that confidence and praying and believing that this mountain will be moved!!!!! Please pray with me!!!!
I am looking forward to writing my faith-filled, fabulous, fully anointed UC birth story!
The pictures of baby were amazing, to actually "see" babies face brought tears to my eyes, especially because I was convinced I would not have the opportunity this time to have a US.
I will try and post the picture. Seeing baby also kicked in the "nesting" instinct that I did not experience with my first and wondered what might bring it on. Wow, do I want to clean and organize and take care of everything for welcoming this new little one. I am really looking forward to loving on and enjoying every little wrinkle and toe!!!! Kisses, oh can't wait to kiss my baby.
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This little side note was from big sister Taylor age 4!!!
LOL, love these kids!!!!
Tue May 03, 2005
Half Way!
Hooray!!!! I'm halfway!!!! So excited to reach this point, trying not to think about the fact that I still have to wait another 20 wks! LOL
Trying to finish figuring out what I want/need for birthday. Trying to grow with dh and trust that he will do what he sais and that is be intimately connected with me during this birth and still preform the needed tasks at hand.
I just finished reading "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer, I highly recomend reading this book especially if you just can't figure out why people/dh do the things they do!!!
I now know that I will need supernatural help in the area of "intimately connecting" with dh and have him preform labor/delivery tasks at the same time, very difficult for him do due to his tempermant make up and yet with God all things are possible!!!! Hallelujah!
I thank God for a friend with whom I have been able to confide in about my UC, for she has the same personality tempermant traits as my dh and offers me so much insight, I now see her love and friendship as invaluable in the coming months ahead!
After my last journal entry, which was more like a vent than anything, I was convicted about saying my neighbor would not understand my decision to UC because she was a Mormon. I know that most Spirit-filled Christians would not understand my desicion as well and her being Mormon has nothing to do with it, so please forgive me if I have offended or hurt anyone by that statement. Again going back to the personality issue I have a huge weakness for being affected by the negative or conflicting statements and opinions of others. I find this especially true being pregnant, it seems like fear and critisism (sp) just jump all over my joy right now, wow what a battle it has been to seek God during this Awesome walk of faith!
I have accumulated most of my scripture referances for my prayer team and am excited to see the power of the Holy Spirit at work in our lives as we prepare for this Blessed Miracle! It is excititng to see God's promises come alive. I am becoming filled with anticipation more and more everyday and I can not wait to hold my precious baby in my arms!
Baby has started moving-for sure!!!!! 18wks. I thought I could finally distinguish between baby and gas, 19 a little more frequent and then pow! 20 and here is baby rolling under my hand!!!!! DH was able to feel baby move last night, I love being able to share those moments with him! DD keeps trying to make bb move for her, LOL she can hardly wait to get her hands on bb as well.
Everything is going fine, a little sleepy and eating lots but other than that great!!!!
Not weighing myself, taking bp or even vites at this point. Still avoiding vite's 'cause they still cause constipation, I even switched to a non-iron whole food vite and it still stopped me up!
Looking into a new herb suppliment to hopefully help with that issue, I feel like if I could take my vite's again I would have more energy, pray, pray, pray!
Had a caffine binge for about a week, maybe two. Averaged 1/4 to 1/2 cup of coffee a morning and 1/2 to 1 can of coke a day. Noticed swelling of my feet, hands and face in the morning so I gave it up. Had a headache for about 4 days, don't know if it was related or not, probably I had it because I was dehydrated more than anything. Feeling much better now!!!!
Realized even though the caffine was very minimal it wasn't as responsible of me as I would like to be, especially if I want to achieve the birth I DO want to achieve.
OK so this is how much this 6' normally 150ish lb (for those of you who aren't tall this is really thin for my heigth due to my "active" metabolism) frame has been having to eat to maintain pregnancy. Sunday night I quickly ate some shrimp with pasta bacon and peas before meeting my above mentioned friend for dinner. I anticipated getting an appetizer and "getting by" however she told me she wanted to treat and I was to order anything I wanted! Whoo HOO!!!! So I ordered what looked good, the BBQ Ribs and Chicken. I ate, mind you, right after the serving of shrimp and pasta at home moments earlier, an entire chicken breast, half a rack of ribs, mashed potatoes, salad and banana custard desert. Finishing all of this around 9:30pm, OK so you think I would be full and able to go till noon the next day right? Wrong 4:30 am can't sleep because I am "starving"! Kid you not, had to get up and eat!!!!! I blame the banana custard for revin up my metabolism, LOL!
Well, shouldn't keep blabbin I guess, gotta get those dinner dishes in the dishwasher. Beloved housework never goes away! LOL
Love to all!
April
Mon Mar 28, 2005
Back In
Wow, it has taken me a while to get back into the swing of things! I haven't looked at my journal but I know it has been months since my last entry. I am now 15 wks. and feelin great. Today I turn 31, it was a wonderful laid back day. One minor blot, my next door neighbor came home while I was checking the mailbox for birthday cards. Turns out she is a nurse and pregnant and due just one week after me! She wanted to know what doctor I was seeing. I panicked because I didn't have an answer for her. I haven't been asked that question for months. What was it I had planned on saying? She new how far along I was, shoot that answer won't work. We are looking into a midwife, became my answer. Then of course she proceeded to tell me what type to make sure I go with etc... ugh!!! Now I feel monitored. This is her 5th baby and she is Mormon so I'm not sure she would understand my reason for UC or that I would not be endangering my baby. This of course has made me question my own sanity and reasoning for attempting UC. I have loved not being monitored and tested and the freedom of just letting my body and baby grow. It is so calm and peaceful to be at ease in God's hands with His creation. I have not purchased a stethescope yet and I am anxious to hear my baby's heartbeat. Taylor keeps telling me I have twins in there, but of course that is because she wants a brother and a sister!!! LOL She has been so great, she has tried to be as understanding as a four year old can be. Loving on me and the baby, she is so excited to have the baby come.
The main reason I have not been journaling is I was simply passed out, I would just be overwelmed with the need to sleep during my first tri. I still take a rest but I don't pass out for hours. My bowels seem to be functioning better now, that has been my biggest battle. I have been eating really healthy so I stopped taking my multi because I felt the pent up toxins from consitpation much worse for my baby and body then letting the baby have my body's store of vites. I took them for the last two years so I am not afraid the baby hasn't gotten what it has needed. I will take them again if I can become regular which may happen as it did with Taylor in the second and third tri.
I have suffered one migraine that resulted from twisting my neck wrong and throwing my back out, I had it fixed as soon as I could and was fine soon there after. Again healthwise I have had virtually no problems compared to my earlier pregnancy.
I did fall in the night a couple of weeks ago, my ankle simply disappeared from underneath me and I twisted my other foot trying to catch myself. I fell hard on my hips and wrist and head. It was a bad fall but Ben prayed for me right away and I stayed in bed only crawling out to use the restroom. (I twisted both feet and both ankles, so strange!) Later the following day I asked a group of women via e-mail to pray for me and I was able to walk down the stairs by the end of the week. I saw my Chiro a week later and the pain completely went a way in a matter of days.
Praise the Lord!!!
Well, overall I feel beautiful and alive. I love feeling my body become round and soft. I did have to deal with my mother and her "teasing" me about being fat. But once I confronted her and said, no more! Things have been better. Most of my friends and associates can not even tell I am pregnant. I am 6' and 155lbs. prob. 160-165 by now, still below "normal weight" for my heigth. My wedding ring and prego pants fall off of me so I'm quite certain I don't need to worry about becoming "fat"! Still no pregnant woman wants to hear that and I did do my share of crying, probably because it came from my mom and the same night dh said we were lazy parents because we don't have our daughter involved in activities "every day"! So in my pregnant mind I was called "fat and lazy"! UGH!!!
Satan get behind me!!! DH apologized before we went to bed and acknowleged that that was how he felt about himself and he was very sorry that he had included me in that statement. He aslo said I was doing a great job with Taylor and his attitude needed adjusting! Hallelujah!
DH has been quite wonderful toward the both of us since then and I think he was simply stressed out because he has been working so much as of late. No problem crisis amended, Thank you Jesus!
Well I have written a ton. I will be praying about how I will continue to proceed.
Love to all!
April
Mon Jan 24, 2005
Yuck day!
Today is the first day I have had any feeling of Yuck! I went with the urge to have hot chocolate first thing this morning! Ugh! No more sugar in the morning ever! Protien is the only way to go!
I have come up with a new first trimester mantra- Prayer, Praise and Protien!!!
That is how to get through, no doubt!
DH is so fabulous, especially since he vanpools with women who tell him to be nice to me! LOL
Actually I believe he is being so wonderful because this is HIS pregnancy, his baby, his answered prayer! Whoo Hoo! I love seeing his heart become more and more visible as it heals from his horrible legalistic religious past. True Love, God's Love is the healer of all that ails us. I am so thankful for the manifesting love relationship with Christ, the trust factor if you will, birthing in my dear sweet dh.
God is so merciful, loving, gracious and tender! He really does restore all that the locust eat!
Had a wonderful day with dd today, I put us on a schedule after watching Super Nanny! I am bad about personal discipline, deffinately a feeler, bad, bad. Anyway found a site online that allows you to modify a preschool schedule for your child, which was wonderful because I really didn't know where to begin. You must understand my child does NOTHING on her own, no this is not lack of trying, she is a people person and has been from birth. She has never naturally been interested in anything but people and can virtually do nothing without another person present or better yet touching her. Whoo, she can were me out! Anyway, the schedule was easy to follow, non restricting, it is simply like: wake up, get dressed, eat, devotion/read, craft/game, snack, walk, lunch, quiet time/play time, snack, ride bike, tv, dinner, bath, bed.
It is perfect, I loved it, made me feel really good like she was getting everything she needed and I still had time to accomplish the things I wanted to. You know what, she happily played on her own too! Wow! OK it was like 15 min, but hey it was 15min!
LOL
Wed Jan 19, 2005
Hoo-ray!
So funny, the house is a mess, my sweet girl has a yucky cold, my bank account just became overdrawn and I feel like dancing and singing and shouting hoo-ray! I am pregnant and I feel sooooo good! Thank you Jesus, I just can't help but being happy. I guess if I feel this good I really should go clean up my house! Hee Hee!
Joy, pure, wonderous joy. Thank you Jesus!
Finally thought about checking my due date and found out I am farther along than I thought. Simply forgetting that weeks are based off of your period not conception. So at this point I am 5 weeks and 4 days pregnant and my due date is Sept. 18th.
It already seems to be going so fast, I jotted down my trimester dates and was blown away by how fast it all changes.
Part of the reason the house is a mess is because I have been organizing storage closets and areas. I changed the guest room/computer room into a craft/computer room and I pulled out all of my old prego clothes and reorganized and catergorized the baby clothing. Now I know what I have and don't have and what sizes I need when.
Boobs, oh my goodness, I forgot how they can "rush" as they grow, kinda like milk let down, is how they have been feeling, whoo!
Well the little girl is sleeping off her cold so I should get off of this computer and go to work.
Wed Jan 12, 2005
Test Positive!
Whoo Hoo! Thank you Jesus for our precious baby!!!!
On day 3 of my missed period we took a pg test in order to assure myself that it wasn't all in my head and producing phyisical results! Sure enough two lines!!!! Now I am able to let myself believe with confidence it is real, we are going to have another baby! (Dh was totally confident, the test really was for my piece of mind!)
Oh what a huge weight this removes from me, I didn't realize how heavy this burden had been. I feel absolutely wonderful, happy and content. God's perfect timing, it amazes me! Before catching baby K I never would have dreamed about catching my own baby, before Greece dh never would have come to the end of his own understanding and lept into God's trustworthy hands. Even dd did not appriciate the idea of another family member until now. We all want this baby, and that is all I have wanted! Thank you Jesus.
When dh decided we should go forward with a baby in Nov. I dived into the word and started praying over my health, God removed my dependancy on caffeine without even a headache! (This is a MAJOR victory, I have never gone off of caffeine without three days of headaches!) I was able to change my diet with only one minor low blood sugar incident, another miracle.
Now 2 1/2 weeks into my pregnancy I feel amazing, totally and completely amazing.
I have energy and feel content after eating. Dh and I have prayed from the begining that nausea would not take over my first trimester or pregnancy in general.
I was so sick with dd, so so sick, it was a very sad and frustrating time. We have prayed that this baby would be redemptive to our marriage and family, that this pregnancy would bring healing. Thank you Lord for caring so much, your love overwelms me, how precious you are.
Sun Jan 09, 2005
Day 3
It is day three of my missing period! Sore breasts, tight pants, and smelling smells I forgot could be so intense! We will go tonight and buy a test, I want to see those two pink lines and then I will truely celebrate and live it up! What a wonderful Christmas present, who could ask for more?! Thank you Jesus!
Fri Jan 07, 2005
Introduction
I am thrilled to finally start a journal about pregnancy!
Now, where to begin? In March I will be 31 yrs. old, hard to believe! Where does the time go, no wonder I have become baby crazy, my clocks tickin'!
I have one little girl, quite the princess in all of the good and adorable ways. She has a heart of gold and will turn 4 in February, hummm maybe that is where the time has gone! LOL
I have a wonderfully complicated DH, absolutely love him to pieces, he turns 31 in April.
My story is long so I won't dive into it right away, hopefully it will emerge as this journal takes shape.
Currently we are waiting to see if baby #2 is really on the way. We have prayed, pulled out the "plug" (IUD, yes, I did it myself!) and have focused on nutrition and cervical fluid.
DH and I have been praying for a son, because you can pray gender specific before but not after pregnancy! Hee Hee
Truely, I will be happy with a Boy, Girl or better yet Boy Girl twins! Just always had a thing for BG twins and after waiting so long to continue our family I would be thrilled to have two and make up for lost time.
What am I looking forward to the most? Birth!!! I am completely jazzed about giving birth, Whoo Hoo!
Course, right now I just want to know that I am pregnant. Three more days should tell for sure!
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