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Carrie's Journal
Expecting January 2006
Mon Jul 04, 2005
Monday, July 4 - 14 weeks
Wow...I guess UP can be kinda boring eh? At least my telling of it. To be honest, I had forgotten about this board. What with no appts to schedule, no tests to take, no "plans" to make, I just haven't needed to spend much time or thought on this pregnancy. It also helps that I haven't had even a little bit of morning sickness to remind me. I do get extra sleepy, though. Staying awake if I'm driving in the mid-late afternoon is very difficult.
I did have a bit of spotting and cramping back at about 7 - 8 weeks, but it stopped within a few days, and hasn't ever showed up again. Kinda scary, but the hardest part was just the not knowing. I think I could accept a pregnancy loss, and trust that the Lord was in control, but the waiting to know one way or another was difficult.
It feels like my uterus has really grown, almost overnight. I was feeling it this morning, before I got out of bed, and where last week, I couldn't really definitively feel the fundus, now, there is no question, and I seem to be measuring large. The top is right at my belly button, and the two sides feel about 6 - 7 inches apart. Kinda tall and narrow. I know that I've measured large for dates with both my 2nd and 3rd, so I'm not really phased by it. After all, my most recent baby was all but 11 lbs. No doubt my uterus is just getting all stretched out early in preparation for another turkey. :-)
I'm struggling with depression still. Had some difficult family situations, and when there's nothing to do but wait and hope things get better, it can be really hard to just go on with faith, and quit worrying. I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself today...selfishly, I know. My dh's 3 day weekend, and we spent Saturday at his cousin's wedding, Sunday after church he went to my mom's to start building a wheelchair ramp over her front steps, and was gone until a little after 10 p.m. He left this morning to go back and do more work at about 10:00, and it looks he won't be home until after 6 tonight. We have no plans for celebrating the 4th. Had a horrible time with my oldest and her math today. One of those days I wish I could just go back to bed, and wake up again when a better day is forecast, lol.
Fri May 13, 2005
Friday, May 13 - 6 weeks, 3 days
Well, another week (and a day) gone by. This early part of pregnancy really does seem rather uneventful. I am blessed with no tendency (personal or familial) to miscarry, and so I don't have those worries plaguing me.
Right now, most of my focus is in keeping the rest of my family going well; homeschooling my oldest, and helping her through the divorce of her dad and step-mom. She's just kinda strugglign anyway...going through the "life isn't fair, why do I have to do all this when the little kids don't, you blame me for everything, all I ever do is get yelled at, woe is me, etc, etc, etc." I can remember, though...it doesn't seem that long ago. Time for more tying of heartstrings, I think. Honestly, I almost resent that it's needed.........it's just one more thing to take up my time, to add to my to-do list. But, I know that that is just my sinful attitude that I need to repent of, and get over.
Oh - I am dealing with a yeast infection, blech. I do seem so prone to them during pregnancy. I did a 3 day Mycelex, and then one or two nights of garlic, but it still seems to be barely hanging on, so I may need to do another round of something OTC. Blech.
My nipples are getting a little more sore, faster, when my 2 y/o is nursing, but convincing him to do something other than nurse when that's what he has his heart set on is not easy. I may yet end up tandeming, again. How weird, to do it with him, twice, both times as the older one.
I think I'll just 'wing it". I feel like that for more and more things this time around. No set in stone plans...just pray for guidance, and go with what seems right at the time I actually have to decide.
Sun May 08, 2005
Sunday, May 8 - 5 weeks, 6 days
Happy Mothers' Day to all of us!
Been a very strange day. Had family visiting that left early this morning. I stayed up too late last night, and then didn't wake up in time to get us all ready for church. My family had forgotten it was Mother's Day, and my dh got the two girls dressed for church, and took them. Came back about 40 minutes later, having realized that it was Mother's Day. Forgetful, but sweet. :-)
Sleepiness has really hit me today; I haven't been walking on my treadmill since Thursday, what with my family being in town, and I wonder if that can be blamed, partly. I woke up at 8:30, and was back asleep by 11:00 or so, and slept until 2 in the afternoon. And, I could still easily go right back to sleep. I hope this doesn't last.
Found out that my niece-in-law, who only lives a mile away from me, and is due about 2 weeks before me, owns a blood sugar tester thing...(glucose monitor?) Whatever it's called, I'll have access to one, so I can keep track of that. Diabetes runs very strong in my family; my mom has it (and is in very poor health because of it being poorly controlled), and one of my sisters has it. Another sister is in what I heard someone call "pre-diabetic state". Not sure what that means, but I just know that all together it means that I am really at risk, especially since I have not lost the weight from my last pregnancy, and so I need to take really good care of myself.
Been doing pretty good getting lots of protein, but not too many calories. Do need more calcium and iron though. Time to find some blackstrap mollasses.
Guess I don't have much else to talk about pregnancy-related, so this will do it for now.
Thu May 05, 2005
Thursday, May 5 - 5 weeks, 3 days
Wow...I can't believe I'm here! Except, really, I can.
I found out I was pregnant just last Saturday. I hadn't been paying much attention to my cycle, so I didn't realize I was actually 4 days past when my period should have arrived.
To introduce myself a little bit, my name is Carrie, I am married to a most wonderful man, David, and together we are parents to Evelyn (8 years old, from my first marriage..she was almost 3 when David and I married), Eleanor (4 years old), Joshua (2 years old), and Benjamin (almost 2). Benjamin was adopted at birth; biologically, he is my nephew. He and Joshua are only 8 months apart, so having 2 1/2 years between Benjamin and this next baby seems like such a big gap, lol.
All three of my previous births have happened at home with a midwife in attendance. This time, however, my dh and I are ready to do it on our own. While I am sure that my birth experiences have been far better than what most women in America get in a hospital, I guess my expectations are just really high, because I am just not satisfied with going with a midwife again. I want to maintain complete autonomy; I want to have complete privacy; and I want to go through transition without someone's hand inside of me!
As I have thought about what to do to prepare for this birth, I realize that I dont' need to rush into anything, but I need to not completely procrastinate, either.
I think my dh and I will take an infant CPR course. I don't know about buying or renting a doppler. Probably will depend on how much it costs. The things that really come to mind aren't related so much to the birth, as much as my other kids. For instance, possibly weaning Joshua (who, at 30 months, is still nursing strong); and maybe even (dare I ask?) get him to quit sleeping directly on top of me. I won't be able to breathe in a few months....
Potty training the boys is probably asking too much, but I might daydream about it....
It really is enough to make me seriously think about looking into EC for this next baby.
I have gone into the pregnancy weighing what I weighed at the end of all my others. Nothing like sitting on a couch and doing nothing but nurse two babies for 9 months to put you into the category of "sendentary". But, I am renewed in my dedication to eating as well as I can, and getting plenty of excercise. I've walked 2 1/2 miles each day since I found out I was pregnant. I need to find some form of weight lifting or something to work on upper body strength.
So far, I am being extremely blessed, and don't have even a slight bit of nausea. I have actually had less and less with each pregnancy, and this time, I'm down to pretty much nothing. And, thanks to the walking I'm doing, I'm pretty sure, I am also not feeling too sleepy. A little more than usual, but that's it. Really, if I didn't "know" I was pregnant, I would have no clue. Thanks heavens for HPTs, eh?
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