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Jennifer's Journal
Expecting June 2005
Sat Mar 19, 2005
To move or not to move, that is the question
Ok, so despite the corny title, we're going to have to make a decision on whether to move pregnant or wait till baby gets here. I'm super tired! I can't imagine why, with three kids, 10, 5 and 15 months! LOL.
Anyway, I was expecting to feel lots more energy than I actually have, and I don't think at 30 weeks that I'll be able to drive 2200 miles!
So, we've got lots to talk about, dh and I.
As far as the pregnancy goes, I'm actually doing just fine. I've gained more than I expected, but I'm not nearly as active as I was with #3, so that's not totally suprising. I think the extra weight is slowing me down faster than last time though. I'm already at about 35lbs gained, at 26 weeks. I tend to lose about 5lbs towards the last month, and weight gain is usually not heavy in month 8, so I'm thinking maybe I'll total about 45lbs, which is heavy for me, but not totally ridiculous or out of the realm of normal.
Baby is very active, kicking and swimming. I have lots of BH's, and they're intense, as is normal for me. They remind me of menstruation, for about 10-15 seconds, and then they're gone again. I get about 4-6 a day, depending on my activity level. It's a little uncomfortable for about 10 seconds, but then it's gone, so nothing to think about.
I've decided to make cloth wipies this time, and I've got a ton of material to use up. It was my mom's and she never got around to making anything with it! I am doing my best to NOT be a fabric hog and actually do the projects I set out to do. It's a hard thing for me to master, but I'm not giving up!
For those who are reading for the first time, or maybe you've been following along for a while, if you're considering UP/UC, which you probably are, since you're here, I recommend it so HIGHLY! I've been UPing now for almost 7 months and it's very freeing. I enjoy just listening to my body and doing what I know is right for me. I walk almost daily, I eat well, I get lots of sleep. I reduce stress as much as possible and spend time with my kids, just playing and relaxing. It's nice not to have an office visit to stress over, tests, tests and more tests to ponder and worry over, and doctors who either don't care, or are too invasive and want to know more than is their business about your life! My life, my pregnancy is my own!
Speaking of listening to my body, I need to go sit in a more comfy chair, as my back is starting to ache. I will try to remember to post more and keep you all updated on how life and pregnancy is going. Take care!
Fri Jan 21, 2005
Cold January Days
We're cold here for us! I know you all in the midwest are snickering, but for us, to have multiple days of a high of less than 50 is COLD! We're dealing with an inversion layer that's making it super cold and gray and blah! Oh well... such is Jaunary. I need to get the family up to play in the snow and shake off the blahs! Baby is growing lots. I have a little trouble turning over and sleeping on my stomach now, at night. I'm having a bit of insomnia too, but I know that will pass. I have some herbs to make tea if it gets bad. I can feel the little swimmer a lot now, although it's very mild kicks and squirms. I will be glad in a few weeks when the kicks get stronger. I like to feel the healthy vigourous movements of a healthy baby. Always puts my mind at ease. Otherwise, I'm doing well, hardly any nausea left, a little more energy and less hormone flux.
Take care all, hope your pregnancies are going well too, or your ttc!!!
Sat Jan 08, 2005
Singin' in the rain!
We're having a huge storm here! I-80 is shut down from Applegate to the Nevada border! That doesn't happen very often! I can't wait till the weather clears and we can take the kids up to the snow to play! There's a great snow park with innertubes just about 1:15hrs from here!
Baby baby baby.... I'm starting to pooch out a lot... I'm about 16 weeks now... definitely feeling prego! DH and I went shopping and I got some great maternity clothes 60% off!
I can feel him/her swimming around, but not much. This one doesn't seem to be that active yet. Of course, now that I've said that, he/she will probably be SUPER active later!!! LOL.
There's not much to report in the way of pregnancy... everything seems to be moving slowly along... ho hum. I guess it's not that exciting the fourth time around. But, that's ok... there's lots to do, with three kids. I am going to be taking a temporary job, so we can save up for the move. It should be interesting working in an office again, after so long. I am glad it's temporary, though. DH will be working a different shift than me, so the kids will always have either me or daddy. We feel strongly about having one parent - at least- with them 90% of the time. Babysitters are great... for a date night for mommy and daddy, not for everyday.
Well, I am going to hit the hay early tonight. I was up wayyy too late last night. Hope all you UC'ers are doing well, remember, knowledge is power, so go empower yourself and read a good book! - Jen
Sat Jan 01, 2005
January 1st, 2005
Happy New Year! Hope you are all safe and well. We had a major storm last night, and the kids and I had fun watching the lightening and listening to the thunder! I am feeling better today, although I was ill all day yesterday! I think I had a migrane. I was unable to function, dizzy and sick, nauseated, needing to lie down most of the day. Very unlike me, as I usually can go all day, with normal activities. The baby seems unaffected, however, for which I am grateful. I can feel him/her swimming around more and more now. I am about 15 weeks or so. It's so hard to know, exactly... all the due date calculators say I'm due around June 20, 21st, but I know I didn't conceive untill later, which puts the due date between June 30 and July 5th. I guess it doesn't really matter, as we'll find out eventually! I wouldn't be suprised if he/she were born on June 30 or so. That's my guess.
I still haven't really told my family or my husband's family that we're UC'ing. I really don't want to hear the comments and deal with the flak. I know my sister would be judgemental about it, although that would not deter us or even give us pause. It would just be a bummer to listen to. I think that they are assuming that I am seeing a midwife again. That's fine. It's on them anyway, if they assume anything without asking me! LOL. So, I say nothing about it and they haven't asked. We are planning to move still, end of march, beginning of April, so it will be a little strange for us... surrounded by DH's family this time, instead of mine. I really don't know how they'll react when they eventually find out we're UCing. They are a little more laid back, so I'm not worried. They already think I'm a fruit from California, so I guess this won't do anything to change their minds! Ha ha ha.
Just a quick note... has anyone seen the show on TLC 14 kids and one on the way? There is this family in Arkansas, I believe, and they already have 14 kids, and they document the pregnancy and birth of #15. The weird thing to me was that at #15, they're STILL going to the hospital for birth! I don't get it! I'd stay away... she had at least 2 c-sections, including the #15 baby. I would think after 4 or 5, you'd be pretty darn familiar with the process and just stay home and make it happen.... just my opinion!
Well, that's it for today, I'm going to go clean up Christmas decorations and get ready for the new year! Have a great weekend and enjoy 2005! - Jen
Mon Dec 27, 2004
Super Quick
It's late and I'm heading for bed. I just wanted to pop in and say, I'm here, I'm ok, I survived Christmas and the relatives and the gift frenzy and the kids had a great time. Pregnancy is going well, DH and I have been having talks about birth, life, philosophical things... it's been good and interesting. I got one of my birth books back from a friend so I have something to read again and follow the progress of #4. I mostly just like looking at the pictures and diagrams of the developing baby. It's so facinating to me! Always has been! Ok, so everything is going great. God is good. I feel the baby move at least 3x a day and I can feel how much bigger it's getting. I'm about 14 weeks now. Starting to pooch out and my back is starting to ache, but that's mostly from poor posture!!! My own fault! More later. - Love, Jen
Sun Dec 19, 2004
Dec. 18th
Christmas is almost here! We've been having fun with my sisters and brother in law in from out of town for an early Christmas celebration. We announced to the rest of the family that we were expecting #4. There was amazement but not a lot of shock. My grandmother had 4 kids too, my dad was #1. Then Dad had 4 kids, and now me... I guess it's a family tradition! I'm feeling better and better. Still forgetting to eat enough in the mornings... I'm going to try and fix some oatmeal or something filling in the morning so I don't get so low on calories and get grouchy!!! The baby's doing great. I can feel her/him swimming and flicking me here and there, a few times a day. I can still sleep on my stomach, at 13 weeks or so, I'm glad of that. I'm not a big fan of side sleeping. I'm looking forward to the new year, moving to a new state and getting settled near my husband's family in Michigan. I'm not looking forward to the move, per se, at 6+ months prego, but I'm not worried. I'll just pack slowly and steadily after Christmas till we leave, and it should be easier than the last move. I'm looking forward to what spring will be like in a different place, with a new baby on the way. Merry Christmas everyone!
Fri Dec 10, 2004
Dec 10th
Not much happening right now, except being plagued with round ligament pains! You'd think after 3 other babies that I wouldn't be tight enough to have these pains, but I guess they happen with all pregnancies... at least with my body. It's not normally noticable, but I guess it's just making me antsy tonight. I can't get comfortable and I feel kinda itchy inside... just growing pains. I think maybe the baby is going through a growth spurt this week. DH did the ring test... you know the one where you suspend your wedding ring from a chain above your belly and if it sways back and forth it's a boy and if it swings in a circle it's a girl? Well, it went round and round.... another girl? I guess we won't know till June! I can't imagine three girls, though.... I'm really hoping for a boy, although whatever we're blessed with is enough. It's amazing how the Lord is faithful, although we are not so many times. I have had such a hard time with Faith since my Dad passed away in April of 03. I had already lost my mom as a teen, so I felt so orphaned when Dad suddenly died from a massive heart attack. I was pregnant with #3 - Jewel, and unable to grieve properly. I had to hide my grief away for the most part, until she was born. I didn't want her to be trapped in a body that was suffering such sadness, so I continued on with life as much as possible. When she was born, I waited a few weeks, till I was not with her 24hrs a day, and then was able to grieve more, away from the baby bits at a time, so as to continue to protect her. But I felt dead to the Lord. I still feel that way for the most part, although I can feel Him drawing me back. I want to lean on Him and trust Him again, but I am still angry that He took Dad and that I felt so abandoned. My husband has been out of work for a few months now, and we had to sell his truck for living expenses just recently, actually, yesterday. The Lord provided just enough from the sale of the truck for us to meet this month's expenses. Not more... but enough. It reminds me of a poem about enough. I wish I could remember it all... I will look it up and see if I can find and post it. It went something like... I wish you enough...
Anyway... this Christmas will be very lean for us. I don't mind for myself... I have enough! I am hoping that we can show the kids they are loved and that they can love us and others without having a lot of "stuff". My Aunt lives up on property where lots of "christmas" trees grow, so I'm going to ask her if we can cut one from their property and save $30. We just don't have it to spend right now. But, I am remembering how it is to trust in the Lord and that he will provide for us. I am not worried. I need to pray for my husband, that he gets a job very soon. I thank the Lord now that He provided a buyer for our truck, so that we have the basics covered for the next few weeks.
Please pray for our family, that DH will find a decent job, that my health will continue to be good, and that we can convey the true meaning of Christmas to our kids and not let them be overwhelmed with disappointment if they don't get all the "stuff" they're hoping for. Thanks
Wed Dec 08, 2004
Dec. 8th
Hi All.
Whew... this has been a busy time. I am looking forward to relaxing and resting, baking and decorating my house for Christmas. My friend had her baby finally. It was horrible, but she and the baby are ok. It is amazing to know that the power of our minds is SO powerful!! Whether we're fearful or confident, the state of mind often dictates what happens with our bodies. She was full of fear, from the beginning of her labor, and perceived the early contractions as painful. She labored at home, trying the water tub, birth ball and various positions on the bed and walking around. The problem was that each position was still met with fearful anticipation. We coached her through breathing, relaxation and visualization, but she continued to meet each contraction with no strength, with fear and an obvious desire to escape the contraction and the pain. Unfortunately, it is very hard to get across to a woman in labor that the more she fights it and tries to escape it, the more it hurts and the more scary it can be. It was exhausting, for her and for me and her husband. She transferred to the hospital on Friday afternoon, and had a C-section on Saturday afternoon. It was a total bummer to see how she completely gave up and transferred all her womanly power to the nurses and doctors there. It was very frustrating to know that so much of it was mental but not being able to explain this to her. Once she got to the hospital she expected a pain free delivery, which she did NOT have, despite the epidural and c-section. It was more painful than it would have been staying home and delivering vaginally. But, I did what I could to support her and encourage her, at home and in the hospital. It was a discouraging time... to watch someone I thought I knew well completely lose faith in herself, in her body and her ability to birth.
Now, on to more encouraging stuff. My pregnancy is going completely normally. Weight gain is minimal. I'm at 12 weeks. I have gained around 5-7lbs. I'll know better when I weigh in again. I'm keeping the weigh in's to once a month, so that I don't become fixated on a number, but instead, focus on well body and good nutrition and lots of exercize. The nausea is almost completely gone, Thank God. I am feeling much more able to exercize now, and walked a little today, and did some squats last night. I will resume push ups and situp/crunches tomorrow. It was a huge difference for me with exercize, between #2 and #3 so I intend to give my body all the fresh air and exercize it can handle for #4, because it's good in general, and because I would really enjoy a short, happy labor, like #3.
I am so curious to know if it is a boy or girl! It doesn't truly matter, I know, but I have a natural curiosity. My husband did the ring test... you know the one, where the ring is suspended on a chain, and if it goes back and forth it's a boy and in a circle means girl? Well, this time it just hung there... nothing!! How unusual! My husband prides himself on being able to do this test with almost 100% accuracy. He was right with our first three! So I guess we'll have to wait.
While the midwife was here for my friend's birth, she let me use the fetoscope and hear the new baby's heartbeat. It was fun to hear, and made the baby more real to me. Of course, being pregnant already feels quite real, thank you.... all the nausea and a little heartburn! lol. But hearing the heartbeat was a precious reminder of the amazing little package that will soon be our newest little miracle.
Time is flying by for us. It's hard to believe Christmas is almost here, and I know that before I can blink twice, it will be time for the baby!
I hope all you mommies reading are doing well, too. Talk to you soon
Mon Nov 29, 2004
Nov. 29th
Happy after Thanksgiving!
I'm making Turkey soup with the carcass and leftovers.... it smells soooo good! Yum! Pregnancy is going well, I am less and less sick as each day goes by. I still seem to need about 10 hours of sleep a day, which is tough with three other needy kids! I can definitely feel my uterus pooching out a little, although I am still in my regular clothes. I have felt a few little flutters here and there, usually at night when things are calm and I'm sitting the right way. I'm definitely feeling round ligament pains, esp. when I reach or stretch in bed or flip over. I'm starting to get a little insomnia, but that's normal for me, so I just stare into space till I get tired again. A trick that works for me is thinking of all the stuff I need to do when I get up! That will put me right back to sleep! ha ha ha.
Thanksgiving was nice here. Uneventful, calm, peaceful (as it gets with three kids). We were blessed to have enough food and a nice warm house and lovely warm fire. My sister was able to visit from southern CA and it was lovely to have her here and tell her about the baby. She was in shock! There are 4 of us, and I'm the oldest, and also the only one with kids so far. So, I told her, what do you think life would have been like without our youngest sis? : ) So 4 kids will work out fine for us too. She is single, no kids and lives a very different life than us, so I think anything more than two kids in her mind is just too many! We're different on a lot of levels, but we still get along great, so that is a blessing too.
Our houseguests are still here. It's the end of November, and she was due on the 26th. Today being the 29th and this being her first baby, I don't really expect her to have it till the 1st or later. I would be very suprised if she went into labor tonight or tomorrow. I would more expect it Friday or Saturday, as primi's go 41 weeks on average. Her dates were confirmed by ultrasound, so the timeframe is more exact. I know it sounds very harsh to wish them to leave after they have the baby, but I truly do. I know they would like their own place and I very much would like to have my house back to myself. They really aren't much of a bother, it's just a strain to have no privacy. My family is very open, we aren't much for closing doors or bothering to always be fully dressed in the house, but with houseguests, of course, that has all changed. And especially being pregnant, I like to have freedom to be comfortable. Ah... I guess I'm just anti-social! What can I say?
I think hubby is pretty excited about this baby, now that we're over the inital shock. He asks me how the baby is doing, in the morning when we wake up. It's so nice for him to take such an interest, and I appreciate it so much. Especially because I know that I will get a lot of flak from my family about UC and no outside prenatal care. I am not looking forward to dealing with that. My parents are both passed, but I have an aunt and uncle and my Dad's parents still here in the area, and as my Aunt can be very judgemental, I would just rather not deal with them at all. I don't need to hear about all the risks I'm taking with not going to a Dr. I just have a hard time believing.... in fact, I don't believe at all that Doctor knows best. I find that at least in my experience it has been quite the opposite. I will explain more later about that.
For now, I need to go finish up the soup and make biscuits. Hope all you prego mommies are doing well. More later. - Jen
Sun Nov 21, 2004
November 21st
It's a lazy Sunday afternoon and I'm still battling morning sickness. It's not really bad, it's just constant! That's the discouraging part... it's always there! Hopefully it will subside soon.
It's hard to believe it's true, since I'm only about 10 weeks along, but I'm feeling some little tiny flutters. I know it could just be gas, but this is babe #4 and I think I would be able to tell the difference! For now I'm just waiting to see if it's the baby or not... I know I'll feel it soon enough. My friend, Crystal, who is due in 5 days is getting antsy! This is baby #1 for her, and possibly the only. She is planning on a home birth too, here at our home! They had a house fire several months ago and have been waiting for the rebuild. She has the midwife I had with #3. She is very nice, but since we are having another, I have decided on UC as the best choice for my husband and I. But I think, for the personality of my friend, having a midwife in attendance is a good choice. She tends to stress about everything, and overanalyze things.
I am excited about her baby, but truthfully, I am concerned about when they'll be moving back to their own home. When we first offered them our home to stay in, it was proposed that it would be the end of October that their place would be finished, possibly the 15th or so of Nov. Now they've decided not to re-rent that place at all, and look for something else. The problem is, they haven't started looking, and are very vague about when they'll be moving out. I never thought they'd be staying through Christmas, but now, it looks like they will be, and I'm trying to be positive about it, but it's really hard to be. I would really just like it to be our immediate family, especially since this will be our last Christmas here in CA. We're planning on moving to MI when the baby is born.
Well... as far as my own pregnancy is going, other than the nausea, which is making me grumpy and tired, things seem to be progressing well. I am feeling round ligament pains if I stretch just the right (or wrong) way, and if I get up too fast. I am not exercizing enough, at present, as I've felt too sick, but I definitely will be increasing that, as my labor and birth with #3 was so much easier than #2. I think the difference was definitely my level of exercize. I've been walking, 3-4 days a week, but I am thinking of taking a yoga class, or something similar, to get in better shape and keep things active and moving.
That's it for now. Hope all you prego mommies are doing well!
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