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Joy's 2nd Unassisted Pregnancy Journal
Expecting March 2006
Sat Mar 25, 2006
Reflections
Copy and Paste from message board.
QUOTE
I knew it would be a boy LOL. Funny how the fussy toddler kept the IL's from hearing the laboring mama
Yes, that came to mind just afterwards. It also made them not even want to be on the main floor above us; they chose to spend the evening on the top floor with their doors closed. It's neat how the Lord works things out!
QUOTE
I knew it would be a boy LOL.
You were right! You seem to have a gift of seeing a baby belly and making the right guess!
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Have the inlaws met the baby yet?
Yes, they got to meet Spencer the next morning. They were a little hurt that they didn't know, and yet they seemed to understand and were relieved. FIL was getting ready to go on his trip, he admitted that had he known he would have come down and interferred but was glad to be able to meet Spencer before he left.
QUOTE
Wow, this sounds like a lot of work...
It is work Cara, but my first 2 were much easier, and this one wasn't too hard.
QUOTE
The head was presenting wrongly, so the baby went back up to get positioned correctly for birth!
That is my thoughts too. I was a little worried with baby presenting its face first, but instead of panick I figured I'll just need to allow it to come the way it comes, and the Lord worked it out well. With the cord around its neck so many times, it was best that he went back in and positioned correctly. I learned that as we put our trust in the Lord He does wonderful things. Had I been in the hospital or had a mw hb, it wouldn't have worked out so well, as they would have interferred with the process as they are taught to. First off, would they have tried getting baby out when seeing the face presenting? Would they have allowed so much time with no change after baby went back in and me bleeding, that would have ended up in a hospital transfer, possibly forceps delivery or c-section. And they would have cut the cord from around baby's neck right away. Baby would likely have ended up in a warmer as well. Plus they would not have allowed nearly 3 hours in total for placenta to come out, and I would not have been able to nurse again to get placenta completely out. It would have been manually removed which could cause more bleeding for me. But we uc'ed, I put my trust in the Lord and saught His wisdom and guidance, and it all went very smoothly and baby was born very peacefully.
QUOTE
How was that the first time you caught your own baby? That must have been neat too.
I see the wisdom in this too. I was very calm and it felt as though the Father's hands were guiding my hands and as though He were holding me up. I felt His strength with me. Dh later told me that when baby went back in and there was no change for so long and me bleeding that he was afraid baby would be born dead. With this fear in him, had he caught the baby and saw the cord wrapped tightly around his neck and baby lifeless and lacking color, it may have increased his fear. But I was calm and knew that he was fine and this was normal, and so was able to "hear" what I needed to do. Everything seemed normal and catching Spencer seemed completely natural.
QUOTE
Congrats!!!! how many weeks were you BTW.. sorry I have been out of the loop
I was "due" the next day.
Thank you all for your congratulations, and especially for your prayers. What a gift and a blessing it is to have such women of faith praying for me during childbirth. I know your prayers made a difference. I'm glad with the way things turned out, Heavenly Father was so good and the birth went smoothly and baby was born in peace.
Spencer's Birth
Here's the birth story. A few things arose but I found the whole birth went quite smoothly although not completely as I might have expected, My body did all the right things and the Lord was with me. Had I not been UC'ing, I'm sure I would have had interventions. But Heavenly Father designed my body to birth the baby safely if left alone.
Born at nearly 10:10 pm on Tuesday, March 21 2006
Weighing in at 6 lbs. 1 oz.
I woke up during the night (technically early morning) with some very short contractions every 15 minutes or so and other signs of labour. It lasted like this all day. This was the first time I experienced early labour, so I wasn’t completely sure. I kept dh home just in case things would pick up and turn into active labour. MIL didn’t leave for work when she normally does, she was cleaning the kitchen, she never does that in the mornings, mornings are always a rush for them and the kitchen a mess fot me to clean.. Figuring she wanted to know if dh was staying home due to me being in labour, I decided to go upstairs right after a contraction. The first thing she asked was why Daniel was staying home today, I simply said that he’s working from home today, that satisfied her curiosity and she went to work. When everyone started coming home I stayed downstairs. Sometime around 5:30 ish active labour started. I sent dh to the store to buy some snacks for me, treats for the kids and diapers for the baby. Dh started a video for dd (ds had fallen asleep) and I had a labour cd playing with my favorite hymns to help myself focus on the Lord, this really helped.. As things got intense I started using a hot water bottle on my back and one on my belly, this really helped, I was shocked to find I was experiencing both front and back labour in the beginning, then it changed to only back labour. My water was breaking a little at a time throughout labour. I also took off my bottoms and started using different positions depending on what felt right with each contraction. Dh came home at about 6:30 pm and he gave me some water bottles and a bowl of fruit, the fruit made a world of difference. Dh kept changing the videos for the kids, fed them and gave them snacks. At about 8 pm, I went through transition and started getting the urge to push. After a few contractions I decided to check things out and the head was right there. I told dh, we set up the bed with pillows for me to sit on and towels. Soon the head was crowning, but it felt bald. Dh said he could see the beginning of a nose, and baby was presenting its forehead. I pushed gently with the contractions and then suddenly a gush of amniotic fluid squirted out and baby went back in. I could barely feel its head way in there. Things began to slow down and nearly completely stopped. Ds began to get really whiny, begging for me and would only settle down if dh stayed with him and held him. So, I started feeling tired and decided to rest until things started again. Dh kept checking on me to see how I was doing, each time ds would scream and cry (odd behavior for ds). At 9 pm, there was still no change, except baby’s head seemed further in when I checked and I started having what if thoughts. I asked dh to put the kids to bed so he could be with me. Dh later told me that at this point he was afraid baby would be born dead. I prayed and felt a reassurance of calm and peace. I started talking to baby, telling it how much we loved and desired him/her in our family. Then I started leaking out amniotic fluid and some blood. I stayed calm and knew everything was alright. I could hear ds begging for me and refusing to fall asleep, he was screaming quite a bit, which stressed out dh. I was thinking of lying down with him so he could fall asleep, but had a feeling not to. At around 9:50 pm, I felt a very strong and long contraction that I found very difficult, I had several of these one after the other and felt like I was going through transition all over again. I was kneeling upright on the bed over some towels. For some reason I glanced at the clock, it was 10:04 pm, and then I felt my birth canal filling up, got another strong contraction, made some vocalizations (that were covered by ds screaming in the other room) and the head came out as I had my hand there (hair first) and then suddenly another rush of a contraction, more vocalizing and the rest of the baby came out in my hands. Immediately I saw the cord wrapped tightly around baby’s neck several times, baby was lifeless. I immediately but calmly put him down and started unwrapping the cord, after unwrapping it twice I heard a soft gurgling sound and then it stopped, the Spirit urged me to immediately just loosen the other two wraps from around his neck, baby was still grey-ish and then he started to gurgle and breathe and pink up, I thought he looked small. I’m not sure how long this all took, but it probably wasn’t long at all and I did not feel worried at all during this, I knew he’d be fine. I then started calling for dh, who couldn’t hear me over ds screaming and crying. Then baby began to cry just enough for dh to hear, dh and ds came in (ds stopped his fits). I then said we have a boy, and asked dh to help me unwrap the cord and to bring me a towel for the baby. He did and then helped me sit down. Dh went from very stressed to very happy, and so did ds. Dh and ds cleaned off the blood on my legs. After awhile the baby nursed. After about 1 ½ to maybe 2 hours of his birth, we unlatched Spencer so I could relieve myself of the placenta. The cord was limp and white so we cut it and dh held Spencer on his bare chest. I squatted and pushed, the placenta was ¾ out and then was stuck, after trying to push it out with no success we decided I should nurse Spencer some more and dh helped me get a sweater on (I was cold). Afterwards I got up to squat and the rest of the placenta came out, there was a small amount of scar tissue and the placenta was whole. We then enjoyed baby some more and cleaned up. I have no tears at all and the in-laws had no idea I was in labour. Next time, we’ll consider someone to take the kids during labour.
Tue Mar 21, 2006
Am I in early labour?
Never experienced early labour before, so don't know.
I just might have baby by tonight. I've been awake for a few hours. I've needed to begin emptying my bowels, getting the cold chills so had to put on a shirt and a sweater, pants and socks, and getting this not very intense but real contractions that spreads from my front to my lower back, they are very short, only lasting about 30-45 seconds or so and coming every 10-15 minutes and feel like I just don't want to be touched so I can concentrate and relax. A few of these signs are my tell-tell signs of labour, particularily the bowels emptying. But, with my other 2, I've only ever had labour start suddenly and very intense and contractions coming every 3-5 minutes and increasing until baby is born a few hours later. The contractions feel real, more than just bh and it doesn't matter if I get up or put a hot water bottle on my back, it doesn't change the contraction. I've never experienced this early labour stuff, could this be it? I wonder if I should keep dh home today, since if he goes amd I need to call him home, he certainly won't make it, but what if it just goes on like this all day?
I probably should try to get back to sleep, but I feel VERY hungry and so decided to eat before anyone gets up (dh father just woke up now, but I'm downstairs now), I want everyone to just go to work as usual and not think anything might be up, plus it could change at anytime to active labour and I don;t want to begin labour feeling starving or low blood sugar or anything. So, I figure I should while I can.
Sun Mar 19, 2006
39 Weeks & 4 Days
My EDD is March 22, in just 3 days. The day my fil leaves for his long business trip. I feel that baby is most likely going to come Thursday or Friday hopefully during the night. I'm so grateful how the Lord is blessing me with the desires of my heart, and making it so I have what I feel I need during this birth. I feel humbled that He has been watching over me so closely and so lovingly, despite my at-times poor me attitude regarding not being in the ideal circumstances, or atleast what I deem to be ideal. Obviously Heavenly Father is not as concerned about sending His special son/daughter to us even though we are currently living with dh's parents.
Anyway, as for this pregnancy and how things are going. I've been nesting very heavily and feel like I just can't stop it. Nothing seems clean enough or in order enough and I've been cleaning and organizing all day since last week when it clicked that we are actually going to be having a baby very soon, making things prepared for baby, till I wear out my body. I just keep thinking oof all the htings that "needs" to get done. Dh has told me that he'd rather I rest more now and only do what's necessary and spend more time nourishing my body for the upcoming birth of our new baby. It'll be a nice surprise. I'm really hoping to videotape it, but I still haven't gotten the courage to ask dh's parents if I could borrow their camcorder. I guess I'm afraid they might think I'm odd for wanting to videotape the birth and not understand why I'd like to, especially for my children, to see how normal and natural birth normally is; and perhaps give me some stress about it. Hopefully I'll gain the courage to ask, you just never know.
Baby has definately dropped some more, but is not yet engaged. Or atleast I do not have the feeling of a head in between my legs. Perhaps it is currently breech? Somehow I don't feel worried about it being breech though. I don't see it as an emergency or anything. We shall see!
Here's my little blurb that I think about often and just feel a need to write it down.
The Spirit of the Lord has spoken peace to my soul concerning this birth. Early on in this pregnancy when I prayed and asked the Father how I should proceed with this birth, pouring out to Him the feelings I had and why and then asking what would be best, that I would trust in Him with what He tells me to do and is right for this birth, as long as I'm certain it is of God. I felt at peace. I felt the Spirit whisper, Trust in me, I will guide you and bless you and you will have a safe pregnancy and delivery. I will guard you, your pregnancy, this baby and the birth, I will bless you with strength and health and the desires of your heart. You will have a smooth labour and I will be with you, and your faith will become what you pray for it to be. Other things did I feel Heavenly Father whisper to me through the Spirit and inspire me to do throughout this pregnancy and in regards to nourishment, herbs, homeopathy and small situations that arose. To be sure, I didn't tell dh about these promptings right away. I asked him what he thought about this birth and then asked him to pray about it and said that I would follow his answer. I then prayed that dh would know the answer of what to do for this birth. Dh came back to me. He told me that I already have an answer and that he felt the Spirit tell him this and that we should do what I felt was right. I'm grateful for this added testimony. If Heavenly Father tells me these things, werein can I doubt? Who am I to doubt the Lord?
Thu Mar 09, 2006
38 weeks
Baby is moving down. I've definately been dropping, although baby is not yet engaged. Dd dropped and was born within less than a week or so, ds dropped and it still took a couple of weeks. I'm praying and hoping that this baby will be similar, that hhe/she will still be inside a couple more weeks. Baby is also moving a little less, or atleast I'm noticing more sleep moments. Not worried one bit though. It makes sense and baby is still kicking and stretching strongly, just also sleeping more too.
Suddenly, I've noticed a fear of labour creep up. I didn't have this last time that I can remember. Not a fear of UC, but just a "I really don't want to experience labour pains" and a fear of the intensity and pressure of contractions. I'm trying to work on that. Praying about it and letting myself know that it is fine and nothing to be afraid of. Fear during labour will only make the pain seem more than it is and will make it harder for me to relax and allow birth to happen.
My breasts have been sore and I finally feel like I need a bra (bras are uncomfortable for me usually, so I don't normally wear one, haven't worn one since who knows when and consequently I only own one bra). I've also noticed some colostrum leaking out after some intimate time with dh, so that's good. But I get contractions after intimacy, which makes me a little disinterested; it's only when I reach O, so perhaps I ought to just love up dh. :)
Oh, and it looks like we just might be able to move out for April 1st or sometime around then! I'm excited about this possible answer to our prayers, and at the same time wondering about moving out so close to after labouring and with a little newborn, but I'm sure the Lord will provide as we do our best.
Sat Mar 04, 2006
37 1/2 weeks
I've reached the 37 weeks mark. I feel good, just looking forward to baby and moving out and a little stressed about how t hings might work out while we're here with the new baby. But I know the Lord will provide for us and bless us.
Baby is moving lots and growing bigger everyday. Lots of sudden kicks all over the place, but getting more towards the top and lots of hiccups down very low, so I think baby is certainly head down, which is great! This little baby likes to stretch alot and it can stretch so much that it feels like it's going to just poke through my belly, it does it more especially at night. Isn't that the way it is though. Still getting lots of practice contractions, but they are happening a little less frequently in the last few days but that's fine. My best guess (which may be as good as anyone's) is that baby will come the night of the 24th of March, labour will start that night sometime and baby will be born on the 25th, which would make it the weekend. Dh will be home and not miss the birth and he'll be able to take a few days off from work, so he'll be home all weekend and then a couple more days. So, let's see if I'm right. This is my best guess because this is what I'm praying for. We shall see! I don't have a guess as to gender, but I imagine the baby will weigh around 7 ish or 7 1/2 pounds. Dh has guessed that this is a son.
I'm not sure what else to add right now. I had a ton of things I wanted to add during the week, but I can't remember what it all was. Lol! But, this has been a faith growing experience for us, especially for me, and I'm grateful for this opportunity to be able to trust in the Lord and follow His promptings while excercising faith and trust in Him.
Sun Feb 19, 2006
35 1/2 weeks
So, here I am. Baby moving lots, especially lots of big stretches. I still feel kicks everywhere, which makes me think this baby keeps moving around. But it seems to have a preference for being sideways (can't remember the technical name at the moment, but head at one side and feet at the other) for now, or atleast baby goes into this position often. I'm sure he/she will settle down when it is time, head down and engaged before labour starts. Dd was transverse for most of my pregnancy with her as well, and then moved head down and then engaged before labour, so I"m not at all worried about it. This baby does seem to stretch quite a bit though, like he/she isn't getting enough room and wants to somehow make more room with stretching. I find these stretchings and grabbings I feel sometimes a little painful. Oh well, baby is fine and healthy and strong! I'm still not taking my herbal infusions as I should, I really need someone to remind me to but dh can be more forgetful especially about things like that, oh well, I'll try to make sure I'm taking my RRL at least, then I won't feel overwhelmed with it. I just don't seem to have much time for relaxing, there's so much to do each day just to keep our family running with nourishing foods and clean clothes and clean and happy kids, etc. I have a homeopathic formula to prepare for birth that is to be used in the last month of pregnancy. I know that some people believe that homeopathics are like witchcraft, but I really don't believe so. With thourough education on it, the reasoning for that seems similar to what some used to say about herbs a long time ago. So, FOR ME, homeopathics can be a gentler way of using God's natural remedies and herbs as medicine, meanwhile nourishing herbs are far best taken infused or steeped. I only use those kinds of homeopathic medicines. So, I'll be starting it tomorrow, I'm excited to see how it might help my body during labour night :) . I really wanted to use it last time but didn't know about where to get it until it was just a couple of days to my EDD. Worst case, it won't do anything at all, best case, it just might help in some way. I'm also nervous about the placenta, since I've never delivered a placenta before and last time my placenta was very much stuck.
Now as for me, the Chiropractor is a true "God send", and yes, the Lord made the money available so I could see a chiropractor and I felt strongly that I should see this particular one, who specializes in pregnancy. It's making a significant difference, and I'm so grateful that I am able to miraculously get the Chiropractic care I so need. But we'll be at the in-laws when baby comes, and will probably be able to move out in 2-3 months after baby comes, unless the Lord opens up another way for us.
I'm alright with it now. I'm finally thinking about turning our bedroom into our labour room. We also got an electric kettle so that I could fill up my hot water bottles if needed for my back, without having to go upstairs to the bathroom. We'll also move in things like a toaster, etc., so that I could eat down here too. We're setting it all up so that I can rest assured to be able to labour and deliver in privacy. I'll only have to go upstairs to go to the bathroom (which I always seem to need to empty out just before or just as contractions start), but once contractions get going I won't need to use the bathroom and could stay down in the basement where our bedroom is. It's not a big room, but I think it will do and everything will be just fine. I'm really hoping to give birth at night. This way, the in-laws are 2 floors above me and will be sleeping. I tend to birth quitely, I'm not vocal and tend to turn inwardly, so that won't be a problem. And they won't here a baby crying because they are 2 full floors above us, in the opposite side of the house. THen , they would go off to work and wouldn't know until they get home in the evening. That way I can have some privacy and I won't need to worry about them interferring or calling 911 on me while in labour or once I just have the baby; I would simply lock our doors and refuse to go, but I really don't want that stress. Also this way, dh will be here. I tend to labour quickly, it just starts with a contraction and then a few hours later, baby is here. So, if dh is at work it'll take him 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 hours to get home from the time I call him, and I wouldn't call him home from work until I knew it was labour, which means almost an hour of contractions. Dh is likely to not make it in time. It normally only takes dh 1 1/2 hours each way (he takes the train to work, much faster that way, beauty of living in a large city I guess) but that is during rush hour. After the peak the train doesn't run regularily and he'll likely have to wait atleast an hour for a train to come. Anyway, so I'm praying that I labour and have baby during the night, but nonetheless, God knows best and I will trust in His timing.
It took me awhile to accept that we'll be having baby here. I felt very nauseated at the fact and a complete loss of appetite for a little while, more like a couple of weeks. For a bit I was hoping that I'll end up going into labour during March break, since they were planning on going on a skiing trip, plus it's there wedding anniversary too. But, last week, they decided they weren't going to go afterall and would likely be home. So now, I'm hoping to go AFTER MArch break, which is more likely for me anyway. But, I'm more accepting of it now. I know that the Lord told us to have a UC and that this is right. I just like to birth in privacy, and although I don't mind people bringning in a meal or coming to help with household tasks and seeing baby for a bit, I do prefer to be able to rest and bond with baby w ith my family in privacy for the first while, and I'd like to have a 4 week babymoon without interferring, judgemental family members here all the time. I'll probably spend alot of time down here. Anyway, I'm just going on now. I'm just going to need to trust in the Lord, we're doing our best and it is in the Lord's hands.
Whew! THis was a long update! It's a good thing I was being selective!
Wed Feb 01, 2006
33 weeks
SO, I'm currently (as of today) 33 weeks along. Baby is moving alot, alot, alot, did I say alot? In some ways more than I am used to, yet, if he/she ever stops I get all concerned but I'm sure he/she is just sleeping. Baby has been getting alot of hiccups, which I've been finding annoying. I've been getting alot of bh contractions throughout the day, nothing regular but nonetheless pretty strong and crampy, but through the Spirit I know they are just bh contractions. I reall get confused as to the position of baby. I feel movement all over, up and down, side to side, inwards and all around. I feel alot of bony parts especially and baby stretches quite a bit which sometimes causes bh and is often uncomfortable. I can tell when baby stretches that there isn't much room in there. I've been gaining weight very steadily, my bp is fine and my energy is good.
BUT, I know that baby is atleast very much towards my back and my pelvic area has become lax and widened quite a bit. It is extremely painful to sit, to walk, to stand or to do anything except lie down. It is worse on the left side. I've never had this to this extent, ut I've had regular chiropractic care with my other 2 pregnancies. This time I haven't had any for about 1 1/2 years atleast, and I do need regular chiropractic care whether pregnant or not. IT had gotten so bad to the point that I could help but be brought to tears for the pain and for not being able to properly nourish and care for myself and my family. My IL haven't been very understanding about this, and became very hard on dh, as if he is the cause or something. This started the day that we were very blessed and suddenly were able to save enough money to be able to move out by mid-february. I told dh that I'm willing to be in this pain if it means that we'll be able to move out. After prayer dh told me that he thinks HF was blessing me even though I wasn't seeing a Chiropractor although I need to because we couldn't afford it and we excercised faith, but now, we were blessed with some money and now we could go get the care I need but it'll mean we'll most likely be here for a few more months. Dh said we have to choose what's most important. So, I made an appointment with a Chiropractor who specializes in pregnancy. HE is very good and I prayed to know which Chiropractor to see. After his assessment, he asked why I hadn't seem him earlier, I explained, he basically told me that this is pretty severe and should be treated as an injury as well. It's a good thing I'm going because I probably would have had a very painful labour otherwise. But, because it's so bad, I have to go a few times a week and we have to pay out of pocket, which means we will need to use all of what we had saved for moving out. I'm praying that the Lord will somehow open up a way for us to be able to move out before baby comes. I know that He can if it is His will, He has all power and can do all things. And Jesus Christ has said that all things are possible to those who believe or who have faith in the Lord. We're praying for that blessing.
Mon Jan 23, 2006
7 Months- Pains, Dreams and Things
Well, this is the only pregnancy where I haven't had any chiropractic care. My hip and the area where the top thigh bone meets the pelvis area is in severe pain, it radiates down my leg and a little up my spine, it feels as though it is being crushed or something. Chiropractic care is very important for me, I had scoliosis as a youth and it corrected that for me, but I need to go regularly (like once a month from then on) to keep it that way. But it is close to $40 a visit and we just don't have that right now. Dh will start getting benefits which will cover a good portion of that, but I'll still have to pay up front and then we'll get reimbursed. So we'll see. Food at the table is kind of more important. I had been praying for help to be able to do what's most important and that the rest will take care of itself. My fil wants everything spit spot clean all the time, with little evidence that 2 toddlers live here too, and he's very hard on dh to the point that dh gets rather depressed over it and I really don't have the emotional stamina to deal with depression right now. But, we have hope that this won't be much longer, that the Lord will open up a way and we'll be able to move into our own place before March. Anyway, this pain I have started the day after I prayed. It causes me to not be able to sit or stand long at all, and walking is painful. So, I end up resting alot, laying down with this side elevated to relieve it. It really helps, until I have to walk again. The children have been getting alot of stories from me lately. Perhaps, this is the Lord's way of telling me that I need to relax (I've been having this feeling of needing to relax more at this point of pregnancy) and only do what's most important. That's all I've been able to do anyway. Plus, it's not so bad, as long as I only do what's actually necessary and allow my body to rest in between.
I'm starting to feel more of an attachment to baby now, when for some time, I've just been so stressed that this pregnancy hardly felt real. SO that's nice. Baby's been moving alot, stretching, kicking, jerking and even grabing. Sometimes it is obviously transverse with all the jerking and kicking from side to side, and even some grabbing, like baby is trying to grab me from inside, that's very uncomfortable. Other times, baby is obviously breech with the strong kicks towards my bum and vaginal areas and the weaker, more jerky ones (like hands trying to grab) up high. And sometimes the kicks are all over, very quick and even towards my insides which is uncomfortable. I seem to be carrying baby far towards my back, as many of the kicks and grabs on the sides are very far in where my side is most tender. But, I'm enjoying all of this movement. I only have 2 months or so left, I really like being pregnant and having baby inside, am just looking forward to the chiropractic care that's all. And although I love being pregnant, I'm also looking forward to meeting our new babe and seeing who HEavenly Father has blessed our family with.
Yesterday dh woke up and said he had a special dream that helped him feel more comfortable with our UC. (He agrees fully with UC and has prayed and said that if I deisre it then it is right and that the Lord would support us, but still felt some fear of that responsibility.) Dh rarely remebers any of his dreams, but if he gets a dream that he says is special and he can actually remember it, I know it is from God. So I listened. He said he had a dream that I had went into labour during the middle of the night and that everything went very smoothly, that I had let him sleep. And that when he had woken up to go to work, he found me with 2 new babies in bed. 2 boys he named Jacob and Sam. He said something like, "I'm not sure about the details, but I know that everything will go well." What a comfort! God is so good! The funny thing is I had decided that if I went into labour during the night that I would try not to wake up dh so that he would be well rested and able to take care of the children during the day, while I rest with the baby in bed. I hadn't told him that, so I thought that was interesting about his dream. Anyway, I'm not sure about the details of dh's dream, but I'm so glad that the Lord saw fit to comfort dh's heart and mind in this way. Neat, how the Lord takes care of us.
Sat Jan 14, 2006
30 1/2 weeks
So, we’re still here with the in-laws, but I have my hopes that we might be able to move out for March 1st (3 weeks before my EDD). They seem to understand that we are planning a UC now, my mil’s friend’s daughter is a doula and so she spoke to her about me not having a midwife and so forth and gave me her number. She sounds like someone I’d have a lot of interests in common, but I really don’t wish to have a doula or a midwife at my birth. My mil said she was hoping that she’d know of an independent midwife I’d like. Other than that they are being very quiet about it all, atleast towards me. I’m praying that we’d find an affordable place to call home before baby is born, and if that’s not possible than please allow labour to happen when they aren’t here (their anniversary is a week before my EDD) and that I’d somehow feel comfortable with birthing here, otherwise FIL will most likely end up calling an ambulance and try to force me to the hospital (which wouldn’t work, but I really don’t want that stress during labour) or I’d have to stay in the basement (where we sleep) and not come up but I’d really like to have access to the shower and water for my hot water bottle for my back (I’ve had back labours with both but all was fine with the hot water bottle, very little discomfort if at all). Anyway, so ideally I’d like us to have moved out before baby.
As for my pregnancy, well, somehow it still doesn’t feel real. I know I’m pregnant (obviously) and baby is kicking a lot and active and I get mild practice contractions and ofcourse my belly is big and quite heavy, heavier than I’m used to feeling, but I think that emotionally it hasn’t caught up to me yet that I will go into labour and have a baby. I do desire the baby with all of my heart, I think it’s just I don’t feel ready since we’re still living here and I’ve had a lot of stress. I haven’t even gotten a birth kit ready at all, not that I’ll need much, but it would be good to have the towels and supplies in one spot and handy, but I have some time, and I guess I’m hoping I’ll have more time, yet somehow I don’t think I’ll reach my due date but we’ll see. Yet, at the same time, I kind of wish I could get an ultrasound or hear the baby’s heartbeat, so that I “knew” everything was fine. I won’t be, I don’t need it, I guess somehow it doesn’t feel as real because I haven’t had either of those things done, sounds silly. I’ve prayed much throughout this pregnancy and feel that we’ll be able to move out before baby is born and that baby is healthy and not being badly affected with all of the stress I’m having, so I’m trusting in that. My blood pressure is fine, I’m not dizzy or anything and feel great. I’m getting very, very hungry and at this point of my pregnancy I’m suddenly craving A LOT of animal proteins, which I was already eating quite a bit, so I’m making sure I eat more and am also drinking more raw milk, butter and cod liver oil. It’s really helping. I think baby is just going through it’s last growth spurt. My other two were small until the last trimester, the last home stretch, and then they’d suddenly grow more and I’d gain most of my weight then. With my other two I knew who I was having before they were born, and even before I conceived, I could just feel a little spirit watching and waiting anxiously to come to us and knew who each was. With this pregnancy I really don’t know, sometimes it feels like a girl, sometimes a boy, sometimes 2, sometimes just 1, I really don’t know. It’ll be a true “surprise”. My best guess would a be a girl, if looking just at my food choices (similar to with dd, lots of fresh fruit and such), yet I’m carrying so low, who knows, either way I’ll feel blessed and be very happy. We have thought of names for a girl and a boy as well. I figure, there are a few little spirits watching anxiously for their turn, but I just don’t know who’s turn it is right now. Anyway, it’s not very important to know. Baby is kicking and moving all over the place. I feel movement and kicks towards my pubic bone and bum area, as well as a lot on both sides just beneath my below button and occasionally way up high above it. So that’s my long update. We’re doing alright, and somehow it doesn’t quite feel very real yet, that’ll I’ll be birthing in the next 8-10 weeks or so. I still have lots of energy and walk a lot, but my hips hurt and would like to see a chiropractor soon, atleast a few sessions before baby.
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