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Marcella's Journal
Expecting October 2005
Wed Jun 22, 2005
Lots of contractions...
I started having alot of contractions over the past few weeks. I had alot yesterday. My contractions lasted at least 5 or 6 hrs. I
don't remember when they started I just remember the earliest I looked
at the clock and then when I fell asleep. I had to breath through some
of them. This was definitely the strongest I have experienced so far.
They seemed to get harder as time progressed not easier like last
time. It was making me nervous. But I checked my cervix twice that
evening and hours of those contractions thankfully didn't seem to do
anything to my cervix. I plan on continuing to check my cervix. I
would like to for my own interests. I would like to see the difference
between now and what effacement feels like. Or when my cervix actually
qualifies as soft and feel what difference dilating makes. I am tired
of only hearing and reading about it. Some one else has felt my cervix
the other three times.
I drank a gallon and a half of water yesterday but only got that last
gallon in in the late afternoon/evening after I starting contracting.
I am drinking a a quart first thing this morning. I think it would help
best to get it in earlier in the day. I also had 2 oz of wine last
night but it didn't have any noticeable affect on my contractions. I
tried laying down and walking around and nothing stopped them. I have
heard that this is often just more common the more babies you have.
Hopefully I will have a short easy labor due to all this. With Fintan
complete to delivery was only 2 min and I was basically on my back for
that. I bet he would have practically fallen out if I had been in
hands and knees position.
I think I need to make a concerted effort to more closely follow the brewer diet. I think I need more water, protein, calcium and I need to start taking my cod liver oil again. Fish oil is known to significantly reduce the risk of premature birth plus it is just really good for both of us. I am assuming that everything is ok inspite of all these contractions. But I want to make sure I am really providing little girl and I with all that we need.
Marcella
Tue Jun 21, 2005
Long needed update
I am a little on the lazy side. This is an email I posted to the list explaining alot of what I have been dealing with and an update on where we are with a UC.
Thank you all. Please continue to pray for me. I am doing so much
better. But I really think I am under spiritual attack. I got on this
morning to email y'all and found a nasty email from someone I know. I
unfortunately invested alot of time and emotional energy composing an
email in reply before realizing it wasn't the best thing to do. So I
have been praying instead but I have to say it leaves me a little
short on words. I am dealing with something new like this about every
other day it seems. It is just one thing after another after another.
I have barely shared anything on line with y'all. I have had so much
going I can't get into it all. I do think my pregnancy hormones are
making things more difficult. I wish I could have an easy pregnancy
just once. It seems I am pregnant and being severely tried physically
or emotionally. This time it is emotionally.
I basically freaked out friday and had about as close to a nervous
breakdown as I have had in a long time. I am just a slow learner I
think. I really feel that God revealed alot to me on sunday about what
was going on. A big part of that is that I am over relying on my
husband and family. I have been somewhat aware of that over the years
but not really, IYKWIM. I just found myself in a bad position
emotionally and psychologically and found myself looking once again to
be rescued by others and kind of got hit over the head with a 2 by 4
when I realized no one could. No one could but God. I couldn't turn to
anyone else. I couldn't just run away from my problems. I had to let
God give me the strength to deal with it instead of relinquishing it
to others.
I have been trying to run away this pregnancy too. I found myself
wanting to give it over to others. Let me say that I don't think there
is anything inherently wrong with not having a UC. But I want to. I
feel that I need to, that this is what I am supposed to do. But I have
been instead making decisions based on fear and anxiety. I have been
fearful over having another baby with special needs even overwhelmed
like I said before with being here at home and left with a mess my dh
won't handle etc.
I decided to go see my old midwife. I saw her once and another midwife
another time and had an US. This isn't what I want. Even though I
struggle with wanting to let someone else do it all. These are not
decisions I will be happy about later. I feel I would regret
continuing to see her. The US was helpful to me. There isn't much it
can really tell me but it was helpful to me to see my baby. It's a
girl :) We are all really excited that we have been given a little
girl this time.
So anyway, dh and I have had a real heart to heart about this. He is
happy supporting me with whatever I feel is best. I wish he had a more
decisive opinion one way or the other but he doesn't. He has always
liked the idea of a UC and catching his own baby but he wouldn't be
upset not to.
I am pretty sure I want more support at my birth than just my husband.
I feel juggling birth, a newborn, messes, 3 small loud rowdy boys and
so on is more than I want the 2 of us dealing with on our own. I don't
have other family support even though I have my parents right across
the street. My mom is really NOT helpful. My day is usually
overwhelming enough without throwing extra things in the mix :) I have
made friends with some ladies here in the Atlanta UC community though.
It is really nice that there is a small email list and women are
bringing food to each other after they have babies, having get
togethers or blessingways for each other and offering support for each
during labor if necessary. I have two friends who are willing to come
over during the birth to just help with the kids if we need it, clean
up, fix food, remind me of what I am doing and why and how normal and
safe it is if I need it, field questions from family etc. They are not
offering me any medical or birth help but just help from friends. I am
glad to have that. I just had a friend offer this to me last night. I
am grateful to God for it. I would like to be able to birth alone in
one room with David and leave someone else outside to answer the phone
or deal with those distracting things.
Ok, that is all I can get out for now. I am just really excited to
have worked through this. I am happy to pass on the midwife. And I am
really looking forward to having my baby this October. And happy to be
back here for mutual support. :)
Sat Apr 16, 2005
12 weeks
I am now 12 weeks. The morning sickness seems somewhat better. I have discovered that it seems to be entirely related to my carb intake but I have such poor self control when it comes to carbs. So if I feel sick it is my fault! I don't feel as overall sick when I eat carbs but I am more inclined to throw up the meal than before.
I am thinking I want a water birth. But I want to find a decent pool that doesn't cost too much. I had a pool with my first birth but I didn't find it helpful. No one would ever fill it up adequately and it didn't stay warm enough. I need to have this all planned out so David knows what I would like. To be fair it was my dad who wouldn't fill up the pool last time not David. This time it will be just the 2 of us.
My bump is growing larger. It is more noticeable to me when I am laying down. It seems different than in my other pregnancies though. I wonder if it is possible to have your uterus tipped back in one pregnancy but not others? We can feel how high up my uterus is but it seems so very far back in my stomach. It is not really sticking out yet. So I can't comfortably wear nonmaternity clothes but I just look fat in the maternity clothes :)
It is still so hard to believe that in October, God willing, we will have new little person in our family. Another baby as unique as the first 3 with their own personality and likes and dislikes. I wonder how they will add to the family? The boys are excited. I can't wait till they can feel the baby move. They are going to be so happy about a new baby in the house.
This past week David Benjamin 4 wanted to know HOW God put the baby in my tummy. I had just told him that the baby gets in my tummy because God decides it is time for us to have another baby and He puts it there. He wanted to know how He did that. He always has a question! I didn't really give him a real answer. I am not sure how much to tell a 4yo about how a baby got in my tummy. Someone gave me an idea to next time ask him how he thinks it got there. I think it is a good idea. I would like to know. Well, I just asked him and he says he doesn't know.
Fri Apr 01, 2005
Marcella and David's first UC
I am Marcella. I have been married to David 6 years this April. We have 3 little boys: David, Isaac and Fintan. We are expected our 4th baby around the end of October. October 27th is my official EDD based on ovulation. We are both very excited about having our baby at home together. My first baby was a planned homebirth that ended in transfer. I had 2 hospital births after that.
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